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Ambrose Bierce Quotes about Science

All Ambrose Bierce Quotes Accidents Adversity Affection Age Aging Alcohol Army Art Assumption Atheism Attitude Authority Beauty Belief Boundaries Business Certainty Change Character Cheating Childhood Children Choices Church Clarinet Confusion Cooking Country Creation Critics Culture Cynicism Death Democracy Desire Devil Diplomacy Disappointment Doubt Drinking Dying Earth Education Ego Energy Envy Eternity Evidence Evil Excellence Expectations Failure Faith Fame Family Fashion Fear Feelings Finance Food Friendship Funeral Funny Future Genius Giving God Gold Growth Guilt Happiness Hatred Heart Heaven Hell History Home Honor Hope House Ignorance Imagination Independence Injustice Insanity Inspiration Inspirational Joy Judging Judgment Justice Kindness Knowledge Labor Language Latin Leadership Learning Liars Liberty Life Literature Logic Losing Love Lying Marriage Math Military Money Morality Motherhood Music Nature Nihilism Office Opportunity Optimism Passion Past Patriotism Peace Philosophy Pleasure Politics Power Prejudice Preparation Pride Property Prosperity Purpose Quality Reality Religion Responsibility Revenge Revolution Running Sacrifice School Science quotes Silence Sin Skins Son Soul Spirituality Spring Stupidity Style Success Suffering Taxes Temptation Theology Time Truth Understanding Violence Virtue Wall War Water Wealth Wife Wine Wisdom Work Worship Writing Youth

There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.

There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.

Learning, Science, Old Things

“FBI revisiting Clinton emails just latest in long history of 'October Surprises“ by Chad Pergram, www.foxnews.com. October 29, 2016.

FROG, n. A reptile with edible legs

Food, Science, Cooking

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.72, 谷月社

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

Funny, Science, Pockets

The Devil's Dictionary

GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted. By most writers the invention of gunpowder is ascribed to the Chinese, but not upon very convincing evidence. Milton says it was invented by the devil to dispel angels with, and this opinion seems to derive some support from the scarcity of angels.

Angel, Science, Agency

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.102, University of Georgia Press

MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.

Science, Light, Two

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.137, 谷月社

OPIATE, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.

Science, Jail, Doors

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.154, 谷月社

MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.

Science, Clothes, Dinner

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.164, University of Georgia Press

DIGESTION, n. The conversion of victuals into virtues. When the process is imperfect, vices are evolved instead - a circumstance from which that wicked writer, Dr. Jeremiah Blenn, infers that the ladies are the greater sufferers from dyspepsia.

Science, Imperfection, Wicked

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.57, University of Georgia Press

POTABLE, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific-and without science we are as the snakes and toads.

Country, Drinking, Science

Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2484, Delphi Classics

TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.

Eye, Sacrifice, Science

Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2526, Delphi Classics

MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.

Nature, Science, Brain

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.164, University of Georgia Press

DISCUSSION, n. A method of confirming others in their errors.

Science, Errors, Method

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.57, University of Georgia Press

Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basic of logic is the syllogism, consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion - thus: Major Premise: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as quickly as one man. Minor Premise: One man can dig a post-hole in sixty seconds; Therefore- Conclusion: Sixty men can dig a post-hole in one second. This may be called syllogism arithmetical, in which, by combining logic and mathematics, we obtain a double certainty and are twice blessed.

Art, Blessed, Science

"The Devil's Dictionary:". Book by Ambrose Bierce (p. 204), 2008.

Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

Food, Science, Men

Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2387, Delphi Classics

IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.

Liars, Science, Imagination

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.96, 谷月社

To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.

Science, Planning, Results

Ambrose Bierce (2013). “The Best Of Ambrose Bierce: The Damned Thing + An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge + The Devil's Dictionary + Chickamauga (4 Classics in 1 Book)”, p.179, e-artnow

LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The sentiments and emotions which every literary anatomist now knows to haunt the heart were anciently believed to infest the liver; and even Gascoygne, speaking of the emotional side of human nature, calls it "our hepaticall parte." It was at one time considered the seat of life; hence its name- liver, the thing we live with.

Heart, Science, Emotional

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.152, University of Georgia Press

LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.

Faith, Science, Hands

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.124, 谷月社

ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.

Science, Men, Thieves

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.57, 谷月社

RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition.

Science, Railroads, Purpose

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.176, 谷月社

CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.

Sarcastic, Science, Heirs

Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2369, Delphi Classics

APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and grave worm's provider

Science, Physicians, Graves

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.12, 谷月社

DIAPHRAGM, n. A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels.

Science, Disorder, Bowels

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.56, University of Georgia Press

EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition.

Science, Function, Humour

Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2387, Delphi Classics

RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.

Science, Giving, Fool

Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2492, Delphi Classics

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