Colin Mochrie Quotes - Page 2

I have many favorite artists...Van Gough as one, but he didn't really sing a lot!

I have so many evil plans, I'm just trying to find the one which would be best right now!

When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage.

And if that isnt the truth, it would be a lie.

My mother on her death bed told me, 'Where the hell did that kangaroo come from!?' - it just popped out of nowhere and punched her in the head and caused a cerebral hemorrhage, so I thought I'd move to a country where there were no kangaroos!

I think the challenge is going out in front of a paying audience with absolutely nothing and trying to entertain them for two hours. Thankfully, I only think about that right before we go on, and then once we're out there, everything's fine.

I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work.

There are so many things I'd like to change in the industry. Everything from the reliance of style over substance to their reluctance to hire me for big budget blockbusters, but the thing I would love most would be if they understood people don't have to be Hollywood beautiful to be sexy or interesting.

When you kill someone by chopping off their head, rolling 'em up in a carpet and burning it, you'd better make sure they're dead!

What if hamsters fought in the American Revolution?

I'm handsome, no ands, buts or ifs.

The Hills are alive with the sound of CRAP!

I don't want to get all lefty, but if we took the defence budgets from around the world, we could end hunger everywhere. I would hope that all the world's leaders are thinking about poverty. Get to work. Do something. This is something that's going to be with us forever.

You don't sweat much for a fat girl.

The comedy community is fairly supportive of human beings in general. There are some things you can teach with comedy that people can't learn by being hit over the head with facts. I think, as comedians, we're trying to change the world. It's slow, but sure.

I am such a pessimist that every project has surpassed what I envisioned.

There's many times this year I've sat back and thought, I'm making a living from making things up. It's the only skill I have so I've been really lucky.

It all started with a badly timed bald joke!

To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap.

You know, if I don't make it when I go out there in that weather balloon into that thunder storm. I want, you to take your ear and give it to my wife.

Why are there so many trees in the jungle?

I was a bookworm. Every week I'd go to the library and get seven books. Remember libraries? I wonder if people still go. And I learned about everything from the library. I came from a Scottish family. Old school.

Hey, come on, I've seen younger faces on money. Money.

But you know, we have more hits than you can possibly think about. One of my personal favorite artists is the wonderful artist named Cher. And although I love much of her late stuff, her early stuff was the stuff that I really, really loved.

Let me play a Man in a scene.