Ethel Merman Quotes

Be yourself -- it's the one thing you can do better than anyone else.

At one time I smoked, but in 1959 I couldn't think of anything else to give up for Lent so I stopped - and I haven't had a cigarette since.

I remember Tallulah (Bankhead) telling of going into a public ladies' room and discovering there was no toilet tissue. She looked underneath the booth and said to the lady in the next stall, 'I beg your pardon, do you happen to have any toilet tissue in there?' The lady said no. So Tallulah said, 'Well, then, dahling, do you have two fives for a ten?'

I can hold a note as long as the Chase National Bank.

I can never remember being afraid of an audience. If the audience could do better, they'd be up here on stage and I'd be out there watching them.

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice.

I've never cooked. I can't do much more in the kitchen than make a cup of tea and some toast.

I'll pat myself on the back and admit I have talent. Beyond that, I just happened to be in the right place at the right time

I told her that there was something about Christmas carols that always brought tears to my eyes. I added that I also cry at weddings. To me weddings are very solemn occasions. I should have cried at a couple of my own.

I wouldn't trust any man as far as you can throw a piano

Any audience that gets a laugh out of me gets it while I'm facing them

Now what kind of an attitude is that, 'These things happen?' They only happen because this whole country is just full of people who, when these things happen, they just say, 'These things happen,' and that's why they happen! We gotta have control of what happens to us.

You'll never prove you're too good for a job by not doing your best.

Broadway has been very good to me. But then, I've been very good to broadway.

I've made a wonderful living playing that theatrical character - the professional brassy dame

I wouldn't change one thing about my professional life, and I make it a point not to dwell on my mistakes

When I'm asked how to succeed in show business, I always say I haven't the foggiest

I take a breath when I have to.

There's such a thing as theater discipline. One player doesn't appropriate another's inventions

When you are in deep conflict about something, sometimes the most trivial thing can tip the scales.

Who's happy these days?

[Cole Porter] sang like a hinge.

I am known to be able to take care of myself when I become angry. I don't mince words.

At a flea market I always head for the junk jewelry table first.

I mentioned that I was thinking of getting out of the business after Call Me Madam. I thought maybe I should become a homebody.