Newspapers do a good job telling me what happened yesterday, but they'd be a lot more impressive if they could tell me what's going to happen tomorrow.
I'm glad I don't have to make a living farming. Too much hard work. Too many variables you don't have control over, like, is it going to rain? All I can say is, god bless the real farmers out there.
That little boy is driving well and he's putting well. He's doing everything it takes to win. So, you know what you guys do when he gets in here? You pat him on the back and say congratulations and enjoy it and tell him not serve fried chicken next year. Got it? [...] Or collard greens or whatever the hell they serve.
Vodka does not ease back pain. But it does get your mind off it.
I've never been to heaven and, thinking back on my life, I probably won't get a chance to go. I guess the Masters is as close as I'm going to get.
You've got to gamble every once in a while in a round of golf. I'm not afraid to screw up.
You've got to have the guts not to be afraid to screw up.
The greatest thing about golf, there's no end to it unless you're dead. You just go from here to the Senior Tour.
A lot of amateurs are terrified of going up against a player who is clearly better than they are. They never play their best, because they aren't comfortable. There's one surefire way to get over that, and it's to ask yourself, 'What if I beat him?' Imagine the possibility.
It's nice to walk into a club and see your picture. Then you know you've done something good.
I accept the fact that I'm going to miss it sometimes. I just hope I miss it where I can find it.
If the pressure is getting to you, whistle. In a barely audible way. It's the best way I know of to let go of tension. Music gets your mind off the situation, and the act of whistling melts the tension out of your body.
I never had any thought the whole week. I figured my caddie [Jerry Beard] knew the course a lot better than me, so I put out my hand and played whatever club he put in it. I'd say, "How hard do I hit it?" He'd tell me and I'd swing. The guys who come down here once a year and try to get smart with Mr. Jones' course are the dumb ones.
You've got to have the guts to not be afraid to screw up. The guys who win are the ones who are not afraid to mess up. And that comes right from the heart.
Because you pray after you play.
Life is not a bowl full of cherries, there's good and bad stuff.
Every golfer has a little monster in him. It's just that type of sport.
When I hosted the dinner I served fast food hamburgers. It had nothing to do with black, white, purple, yellow, green race. it had nothing to do with Tiger or his family or his golf game.
You would think that Freddy Couples-Nick Price would be the team to beat, but I'll tell you in skins, it's a matter of just hitting it at the right time.
The key factor in the vodka category is smoothness, and smoothness is what our vodka has.
Arnie, you're going to have to buy a bigger jet.
There are days when I can hear men tying their shoe laces in the gallery.
A million thoughts went through my mind. What little mind I have.
Every shot makes someone happy.
When things are going good they just keep going good.
