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Garrison Keillor Quotes about Funny

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Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

Garrison Keillor
Funny, Christian, Religious

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

Garrison Keillor
Funny, Death, Nice

A cruise ship is a floating town of lazy people.

Garrison Keillor
Funny, Travel, Lazy People

There is almost no marital problem that can't be helped enormously by taking off your clothes.

Garrison Keillor
Funny, Clothes, Comedy
"The Writer's Almanac", October 04, 2005.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Garrison Keillor
Love, Funny, Christmas
"Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

Garrison Keillor
Funny, Life, Encouraging
"Happy to be Here". Book by Garrison Keillor, 1983.

The funniest line in English is 'Get it?' When you say that, everyone chortles.

Garrison Keillor
Funny, Lines
Garrison Keillor (1990). “We Are Still Married: Stories and Letters”, p.14, Penguin

If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?

Garrison Keillor
Funny, Humor, Fire
Garrison Keillor (1990). “Lake Wobegon Days”, p.133, Penguin

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