These nutbags, like Santorum and Bachmann, who make these people and especially young gay kids feel miserable, shame on them. They're quacks. I would never vote for them. I wouldn't even listen to them because there but for the grace of God go they.
I didn't listen to executives.
I've come to appreciate other people's talents.
Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low.
I don't think there's one thing I've ever said on the radio that would have been found indecent or obscene.
Set about doing good to somebody. Put on your hat and go and visit the sick and poor of your neighborhood; inquire into their circumstances and minister to their wants. Seek out the desolate and afflicted and oppressed. . . I have often tried this method, and have always found it the best medicine for a heavy heart.
Here's what happens when you die--you sit in a box and get eaten by worms. I guarantee you that when you die, nothing cool happens.
I've actually apologized to some people I was a real jerk to, because I feel ashamed. I didn't need to be that hungry. There was something going on inside me when I was angry and feeling very threatened and not feeling good about myself.
And rather than hide that, I would rather put that out on the radio and let someone see the full range of emotions. If you're going to be strong on the radio, you got to let it all out, even the ugly stuff. And you can't apologize for it.
It causes me great pain to sue the company I work for. Nevertheless, I had to do it. Suffice it to say, there's a dispute and I believe I haven't been given what is mine.
Most of the things I do are misunderstood. Hey, after all, being misunderstood is the fate of all true geniuses, is it not?
I'm the voice of honesty.
I've never come into anything successful before. I've always been hired by horrible radio stations with horrendous reputations and nothing to lose.
I will always be mad at someone. That will never go away.
I'm about being funny. If I can make a joke using profanity, I will. But for the most part, that can get awfully old and boring.
I really didn't know much about the Libertarians. I knew they were for less government and more individual freedom. I liked that.
Well, first of all, I'm worth every penny.
I'm a parent, and I regulate what my kids listen to. I don't need the government to be the parent. If I'm a crappy parent, then I need the government involved.
I'm in a war, a cultural war.
I'm sure some people might be offended by that, but this is my feeling about show business. It's not all about pure talent. There are certain people who command a stage because they look good ,like me.
I can't imagine the biggest blow to me was that marriage not working out. That just flipped me out.
I think I'm probably a little too desperate to be successful.
I wanted to go hide. I wasn't looking to be more famous, I'm famous enough.
I was told David Letterman and Kaufman had heart attacks on the same day: David Letterman's heart attack was at a hospital in NYC. Kaufman's heart attack was at the red light district in Amsterdam, Holland. I think Kaufman had more fun. You're a great artist. I just love the way you painted my portrait.
I've always thought that a name says a lot about a person. So naturally, being named Howard, I always wanted to crawl into a hole.
