Jane Wagner Quotes - Page 2

Infinity: Time on an ego trip.

Mirrors can't talk. Luckily for you, they can't laugh either.

Frankly, goin' crazy was the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't say it's for everybody; some people couldn't cope.

It's not that I lack ambition. I am ambitious in the sense that I want to be more than I am now. But if I were truly ambitious, I think I'd already be more than I am now.

Just think: your family are the people most likely to give you the flu.

A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?

To think, we have the garment industry instead of nature to thank for the zipper concept when it would have come in so handy for childbirth.

The hardest part about being a kid is knowing you have got your whole life ahead of you.

If evolution was worth its salt, by now it should've evolved something better than survival of the fittest. I think a better idea would be survival of the wittiest.

To me the term "sexual feedom" meant freedom from having sex.

... it's hard to be politically conscious and upwardly mobile at the same time.

I may not be great at geometry but I know one theorum. The longest distance between two points is you and your parents.

When I first came into this world, Elvis was already fat.

My space chums think reality was once a primitive method of crowd control that got out of hand. In my view, it’s absurdity dressed up in a three-piece business suit.

Reality is just a collective hunch.

Of all the things we've learned, we still haven't learned where did this desire to want to know come from?

I feel like my life is just passing me by like two ships in the night. And I have missed both boats.

Like what's the point being a health nut by day if you're a coke head at night.

Unless you are at a picnic, life is no picnic.

Ahhhhhhhh. There is nothing natural about natural childbirth. It is as close to a freak accident as anything I can think of. Why I picked a time like this to go off drugs?

Sex is such a personal thing - why do we insist on sharing it with another person?

It's one thing to tolerate a boring marriage; a boring affair does not make sense.

I am sick of being the victim of trends I reflect but don't even understand.

If you are a human being, you might as well face it. You are going to rub a lot of people the wrong way.