Janeane Garofalo Quotes - Page 5

You have to have a lot more dedication to what I'll call 'the machine,' ... I have 20 percent dedication. What's needed is 110 percent. You can't have it with the level of apathy I have.

We got married drunk in Vegas . . . We dated for a year, and we got married at a drive-through chapel in a cab. [We thought] you have to go down to the courthouse and sign papers and stuff, so who knew? We were married, and apparently now that [Rob] is getting married for real, his lawyer dug up something.

I can do most anything and not have a problem with it. The only time I have negative attention is when I run naked through the streets brandishing a handgun.

I hate high fashion. I hate that we reward people for being genetic freaks. You hear the guys announcing the runway shows saying, 'A pretty face is your best asset this season.' And what? Ugly girls had a free ride last year?

I think we all remember where we were when Rush Hour hit the water. That was an important day.

The handful of corporations that own most of the media outlets have an interest in reflecting establishment views.

Without liberals we wouldn't have unions. We wouldn't have environmental protections. We wouldn't have seat belts or birth control or the ACLU! Any of these things!

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things.

Iraq is a manufactured conflict for the sake of geopolitical dominance in the area.

The right, like Pat Buchanan and Rush Limbauggh, use women and the black man and the Hispanic immigrant and the gay man as a scapgoat for society's ills. They pretend it's about traditional family values, but that's a bullshit phrase that means nothing to me. They like to use us all. They use pro-life as a way to hate women and slam women, dressed up in the nobility of saving unborn fetuses. I think it's just misogyny.

I don't think that the administration is being particularly honest with the American people about what this is going to cost in life and in dollars, what the dangers are, retaliatory strikes, once it happens. This is not a war that needs to happen immediately, if ever.

I'm grateful for any opportunity to act.

Pedestrian's rights - because we live in California, I've got to address this issue. I don't know where on the fence I am about that. I suppose if I'm walking, I'm all for it, but if I'm driving, that's a whole other can of worms.

Should have dogs before they have kids. Everybody.

Until as women we all say, No! We are not going to starve ourselves, nothing is going to change. We're our own worse enemies sometimes but I still blame men.

Silence does not equal patriotism. Obedience is not the American way.

You young people with your twittering and your creating of content. Or what is it - queefing? I don't know what you young people are calling it.

My dream would be to be on a show that shoots in New York, because I live here, and then I could walk to work.

The inked fingers and the position of them, which is gonna be a 'Daily Show' photo already, of them signaling in this [Nazi salute] manner, as if they have solidarity with the Iraqis who braved physical threats against their lives to vote as if somehow these inked-fingered Republicans have something to do with that.

I guess intractable right-wing ideologues are my mortal enemy.

When Communist U.S.S.R. was a superpower, the world was better off. The right-wing media is trying to marginalize the peace movement.

I do not enjoy when people don't like me.

To combat social awkwardness, I would just act like I couldn't be bothered - that kind of aloof persona or aloof demeanor. It's so off-putting.

Red flag of the eating disorder: the muffin. Keep your eye on the ladies with the muffins... and sometimes I'll just eat the muffin top.

For my stand-up, I always have my notebook with me and if something strikes me, I'll write it down.