People do give me a hard time about my hair because it's orange and it's big.
When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me.
It's our nature: Human beings like success but they hate successful people.
Some people even think I wear a wig. Do they think I went into a salon one day and said, Can you please screw this up really bad?
I always thought marketing in general was an interesting kind of thing. I always liked commercials and billboards.
Everyone has the gift of laughter inside of them. All the world is a prop.
The street in the center of town was Butts road. I stole the sign and told the audience, this must be where the assholes live. I also had a Neighborhood Crime Watch - it takes about 20 seconds to break into a house but it took me an hour to unbolt this sign.
I'd love to be animated. I've always wanted to jump off of a bridge and not be hurt, like Bugs Bunny.
I think, over the years, I've kind of evolved.
People always want to put a label on you; they always want to compare you to something.
So I try not to look too far into the future because I think that everything happens and will happen for a reason.
Before I got addicted to comedy, I was seriously thinking about playing tennis full time. I joined the tennis team and played with a lot of professionals.
My manager has a car payment, so I work every night.
Everybody has their own style. If you went to the movies every week and everybody acted the same way Tom Cruise did, boy, wouldn't that suck?
People always say to me, Youre really attractive - in an unusual way. No one ever just says, Youre attractive.
I've always believed that it's important to give something back to the world and community.
I have a home in Orlando. That's kind of my default "getaway" city.
It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends.
I was the class clown at school, but at home, my family wasn't very funny.
I do go through a mini depression because one minute there are people yelling and screaming for me on stage and the next I'm at home and it's dead quiet. So it takes a while to come down.
I had a Neighborhood Crime Watch sign in my dorm wall in college. People would come in and laugh at it. 'Where did you get it?' 'I took it. How good is their Neighborhood Crime Watch if they can't even watch their sign?'
When I was younger I always thought, 'If I were ever a comedian I'd make it like a rock concert.' I wanted to generate that type of enthusiasm and excitement.
Comics don't like to see other comics do well.
I think it's important for me, for my crew and for the audience to bring something new to each show. I have friends who have done the same act, word for word for word, for 20 years. I have a problem with that. I think the audience should see something new in each show.
I've always wanted to do a segment on a talk show. Jay Leno has been such a good friend, and if he would allow me, I'd have to get it all together, but I'd like to go on 'The Tonight Show' and do a set with no props. Or come out with a trunk and never touch it. Or come out with a clear trunk with nothing in it.
