I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown?
I'm just some lunatic macaroni mushroom, is that it?
You try too hard. Winners forget they're in a race. They just love to run.
You win, you win. You lose, you still win.
Women, aren't they perfect? It doesn't matter if they're fat, skinny, blond, or blue. If a woman is willing to give you her love, Harvard, it's the greatest gift in the world. Makes you taller, makes you smarter, makes your teeth shine. Boy-oh-boy women are perfect, perfect joy and perfect ache. Joy when you first meet them and get to know them. Ache when you leave them. Joy. Ache. Joy. Ache. Joyachejoyachejoyachejoyache.
Sure, mom, I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I'm free the next morning.
A winner forgets he's in a race, he just loves to run.
You know why you hate me so much, Jeffery? Because I look the way you feel.
Did Mad freakin' Max just call me irritating?
I couldn't get any jobs, and when that happens, you get so humble it's disgusting. I didn't feel like a man anymore -- I felt really creepy. I was bumping into walls and saying, Excuse me.
My father loved me so much that he did not want me to be a laborer or anything. I dont know if its the right thing to do - push your kids into something and then stay on them until they do it. Let them pick what they want to do.
I dyed my hair blonde in that movie, so my head doesn't match my grill.
Ah, I don't do interviews, really.
I've been married three times, but I'll never forget my first trip as a young man, on my honeymoon, with my new wife.
