John Scalzi Quotes

Engrave this in your brain: EVERY WRITER GETS REJECTED. You will be no different.

If you want me to treat your ideas with more respect, get some better ideas.

There's a difference between the fact that the universe is inherently unfair on a cosmic level, and the fact that life is unfair because people are actively making it so.

I am not responsible for actions of the imaginary version of me you have inside your head.

I didn't mind getting old when I was young. It's the being old now that's getting to me.

Part of what makes us human is what we mean to other people, and what people mean to us.

I'm not insane, sir. I have a finely calibrated sense of acceptable risk.

Christianity is a fine religion and I wish more Christians practiced it.

I don't care whether I really exist or don't, whether I'm real or fictional. What I want right now is to be the person who decides my own fate.

Never anger a sci-fi writer. These people destroy entire planets over lunch. Imagine what they'll do to you.

If your flirting strategy is indistinguishable from harassment, it's not everyone else that's the problem.

Libertarians secretly worried that ultimately someone will figure out the whole of their political philosophy boils down to “Get Off My Property.” News flash: This is not really a big secret to the rest of us.

When you're a teenager and you're in love, it's obvious to everyone but you and the person you're in love with.

Do what you need to do and enjoy life as it happens.

Don’t discount that part of who he was just because you didn’t know it. None of us are all of who we are to any one person.

When you're a kid all you want to do is be somewhere else.

If the universe is bigger and stranger than I can imagine, it's best to meet it with an empty bladder.

The original sin of Republicans is greed. Everyone understands greed. Everybody wants to get theirs. The original sin of Democrats is pity. Greed is more attractive, and a better motivator, than pity.

Sooner or later the Narrative will come for each of us.

Now, you may think that this is some sort of generalized hatred that I will carry for the lot of you. Let me assure you that this is not the case. Each of you will fail, but you will fail in your own unique way, and therefore I will dislike each of you on an individual basis.

You would rather face a life without me than to have me choose a life I would not choose for myself.

As a reader, I have a very short attention span and a low tolerance for boredom, and I find that comes in handy with my writing. If I get bored writing something, I pity the people who will then try to read it.

We've already established whoever is writing us is an asshole.

Being poor is people wondering why you didn't leave.

The Scooby gang doesn't travel because they are looking for crimes to solve. They travel because they're one step ahead of the deprogrammers. Somehow, Fred's got them all snookered. It probably has something to do with the Scooby Snacks.