If you tell the truth, then you don't have to have a good memory
If it doesn't make sense, it's usually not true.
I couldn't give a rat's tutu about your emotional distress
The time to change was yesterday; the time to wake up is now.
Don't make a cemetery of your life by burying your talents.
Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining.
"Beauty fades," my father would tell me, "but dumb? Dumb is forever."
There's no cap on success. The jury stays out till you take your last breath.
You only have one thing in business, and that is your reputation
Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It doesn't work, and it annoys the pig.
Your son went into your kitchen and took a kitchen knife.
Since I'm the judge, it's a very stupid thing to irritate me!
Beauty fades, dumb is forever.
It's your life; live it well.
Unless you believe in reincarnation, this is your one shot.
One of the loveliest weddings I ever performed was that of a gay couple. To me if you are a good citizen, you pay your taxes, you work, you should have all the rights and responsibilities of everybody else.
I only do one thing at a time; otherwise, I get confused and then I can't trick you.
If you are trying to balance the scales of justice and equality in all your work relationships, you're going to come up short.
