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Kurt Vonnegut Quotes about Jesus

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For some reason, the most vocal Christians among us never mention the Beatitudes (Matthew 5). But, often with tears in their eyes, they demand that the Ten Commandments be posted in public buildings. And of course,

For some reason, the most vocal Christians among us never mention the Beatitudes (Matthew 5). But, often with tears in their eyes, they demand that the Ten Commandments be posted in public buildings. And of course, that's Moses, not Jesus. I haven't heard one of them demand that the Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes, be posted anywhere. "Blessed are the merciful" in a courtroom? "Blessed are the peacemakers" in the Pentagon? Give me a break!

Kurt Vonnegut
Christian, Jesus, Blessed

If Jesus was alive today, we would kill him with lethal injection. I call that progress. We would have to kill him for the same reason he was killed the first time. His ideas are just too liberal.

Kurt Vonnegut
Jesus, Ideas, Progress
Kurt Vonnegut (2008). “Armageddon in Retrospect”, p.24, Penguin

My God, the religious right will not acknowledge what a merciful person Jesus was.

Kurt Vonnegut
Religious, Jesus, Acknowledge
"Vonnegut at 80". Interview with David Hoppe, www.nuvo.net. January 1, 2003.

I can see where influential people would like Maharishi better than Jesus. My God, if the Beatles and Mia Farrow went to Jesus, He'd tell them to give all their money away.

Kurt Vonnegut
Jesus, Giving, People

How subservient to Jesus, or to a humane God Almighty, were the leaders of this country back in the 1840's, when Marx said such a supposedly evil thing about religion? They had made it perfectly legal to own human slaves, and weren't going to led women vote or hold public office, God forbid, for another eighty year.

Kurt Vonnegut
Country, Jesus, Years

The prostitutes worked for a pimp now. He was splendid and cruel. He was a god to them. He took their free will away from them, which was perfectly all right. They didn't want it anyway. It was as though they had surrendered themselves to Jesus, for instance, so they could live unselfishly and trustingly-except that they had surrendered to a pimp instead.

Kurt Vonnegut
Jesus, Stupidity, Pimp
Kurt Vonnegut (1999). “Breakfast of Champions: Or, Goodbye Blue Monday!”, CNIB, 197

If it weren't for the message of mercy and pity in Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, I wouldn't want to be a human being. I would just as soon be a rattlesnake.

Kurt Vonnegut
Jesus, Want, Messages
Kurt Vonnegut (2011). “God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian”, p.8, Seven Stories Press

If what Jesus said was good, what can it matter whether he was God or not?

Kurt Vonnegut
Jesus, Matter, Said
Kurt Vonnegut (2011). “God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian”, p.8, Seven Stories Press

The words were a paraphrase of the suggestion of Jesus: "Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's." Bokonon's paraphrase was this: "Pay no attention to Caesar. Caesar doesn't have the slightest idea what's really going on.

Kurt Vonnegut
Jesus, Ideas, Suggestions

On Tralfamadore, says Billy Pilgrim, there isn't much interest in Jesus Christ. The Earthling figure who is most engaging to the Tralfamadorian mind, he says, is Charles Darwin - who taught that those who die are meant to die, that corpses are improvements. So it goes.

Kurt Vonnegut
Jesus, Mind, Billy Pilgrim
KURT VONNEGUT JR (1969). “SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE”

Two radical ideas have been introduced into human thought. One of them is that energy and matter are pretty much the same sort of stuff. That's Einstein. The other is that revenge is a bad idea. Revenge is an enormously popular idea but, of course, Jesus came along with the radical idea of forgiveness. If you're insulted, you have to square accounts. So this invention by Jesus is as radical as Einstein's.

Kurt Vonnegut
Jesus, Revenge, Squares

The smartest people in Indianapolis became teachers [during the Great Depression]. And, for once, there was something for women to do because teaching was regarded as a woman's profession, like nursing. So the smartest women in town - Jesus, my women teachers were so exciting.

Kurt Vonnegut
Teacher, Jesus, Teaching

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