Only bad golfers are lucky. They're the ones bouncing balls off trees, curbs, turtles and cars. Good golfers have bad luck. When you hit the ball straight, a funny bounce is bound to be unlucky.
Arnie has more people watching him park the car than we do out on the course.
I'm a golfaholic, no question about that. Counseling wouldn't help me. They'd have to put me in prison, and then I'd talk the warden into building a hole or two and teach him how to play.
His nerve, his memory, and I can't remember the third thing.
I still swing the way I used to, but when I look up the ball is going in a different direction.
No one who ever had lessons would have a swing like mine.
I'm a golfaholic. And all the counseling in the world wouldn't help me.
I'm hitting the driver so good I gotta dial the operator for long distance after I hit it.
[Jack Nicklaus] was the first to bring in course management. He could go to a course and tell you within one stroke what was going to win. He used to set his sights on that because he could shoot it. He was the only player I know who, if he decided he wanted to win a tournament, could go out and do it. No one will ever be as popular as Arnold Palmer and no one will ever come close to Jack as a player.
I thought I'd blown it at the 17th when I drove into a trap. God is a Mexican.
I love Merion and I don't even know her last name.
I'm actually a very quiet person off the golf course. I talk 150 miles per hour when I'm at the course, but when in private I very seldom ever open my mouth.
Nobody but you and your caddie care what you do out there, and if your caddie is betting against you, he doesn't care, either.
You have to understand, I don't play golf for fun. It's my business. When the mailman starts delivering mail on his off day, that's when I'll start playing golf for the hell of it. I like to play in tournaments. There are many great courses around the world that I have never played that are next door to tournaments. I have not played them because I don't play for fun.
I didn't want to change the name on the towels.
A hungry dog hunts best.
I'm really going to do my homework. I'm going to be down there on the practice tee finding out if a guy's wife beat him up the night before, important stuff like that. Stuff that people want to know.
I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.
Actually, my plan was to be 20-under par after two days but it didn't work
I got no pride on the hole. It's a par-5 and I play it that way. A four is a birdie.
We all choke, and the man who says he doesn't choke is lying like hell.
Golf isn't just my business, it's my hobby.
I've played golf with three U.S presidents.
I adore the game of golf. I won't ever retire.
I never played much golf as a kid. I caddied quite a bit but never got serious into golf until about age 15.
