The truth can finally be told: Donald Trump's autism was caused by a vaccination that went terribly wrong; this explains why he can't relate to other people.
President Obama contends that charges he is "not really an American" have been trumped up by you-know-who.
These are clearly the end times, and now we understand why the prophets warned us about the Trump of Doom.
Toupée or not toupée for professional government: that is the hair-raising question created by Donald Trump's candidacy.
Trump appeals to right-wingnuts because when the going gets tough, they wig out.
Donald Trump has filed so many bankruptcies and busted so many companies that his children now have receding heir lines.
Donald Trump accused Huma Abedin of sharing state secrets with her husband. I think Trump clearly lacks a sense of Huma.
Donald Trump just pledged to be loyal to the Green Party, the Communist Party and Party Central, as long as they agree to be nice to that thing on his head. If not, all bets are off.
Life's saving graces are love, pleasure, laughter ... wisdom, it seems, is for the Hereafter.
Perhaps love doesn't make the world go round, but it makes the bumpy ride worthwhile and provides a glorious destination.
I lived as best I could, and then I died. Be careful where you step: the grave is wide.
I'll not! The gents are impressed with the way that I'm dressed. I wouldn't change even one spot.
Abbesses' recesses are not for excesses!
When Donald Trump becomes president, he'll fly on a jumbo jet rebadged Hair Force One. It will be oversized to contain his massive ego, and will have all the latest and greatest blowdryer technology.
Epigrams delight us into wisdom.
Trump has officially changed his name to Ronald because he's such a clown, and in sympathy his toupée is changing its name to Bozo.
Donald Trump isn't really running for president, come on! This is obviously a new reality show, Celebrity Presidential Apprentice. It ends with the incompetent celebrity being berated, humiliated, then unceremoniously fired.
Every political card played by Jeb Bush has been Trumped; every political note played by The Donald has been Trumpeted.
Trump appeals to the disaffected by loudly trumpet-ing what they want to hear: other people are always the problem, and the solution is to either put them in their proper place or get rid of them.
