Ray Romano Quotes - Page 2

My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.

My wife gets so jealous. She came home from work and was mad at me because there was a pretty girl on the bus she thought I would have liked.

That's the one thing I have over any twenty-one-year-old: a proud history of accumulated neuroses. That's the game in which I'm da man.

I would get my student loans, get money, register and never really go. It was a system I thought would somehow pan out.

It seems to be a common denominator with a lot of comics, this low self-esteem thing.

My daughter's tricycle said "Some Assembly Required." It came in a jar.

I have the show because I'm insecure. It's my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.

I'd rather be in Las Vegas 104 degrees than New York 90 degrees, you know why? Legalized prostitution. In any weather that takes the edge off.

I don't want to say work is who I am, but some people feel more centered and more whole when they're producing and creating.

Flappers sounds like where waitresses go after they're too old to work at Hooters.

Each day it's like: 'How many more days am I going to feel young and vibrant? I feel young and vibrant now, but I also feel the aches and pains a little bit.

In a way, comedy is like sex. The more noise you hear, the better you think you're doing.

I've had people say to me, 'Look at the sky, the fields, the ocean, the beautiful sunset. Isn't that proof positive of God?' Following that line of thought, look at the magnificent rainbows after a big rainstorm. Isn't that proof positive that God is gay?

I put myself on tape and the cool thing was that Martin Scorsese had never heard of me. He had never seen [Everybody Loves Raymond]. I was just an unknown actor to him. I don't want to sound conceited, like he has to know who I am, but that seemed a little odd. He's a film genius. He doesn't watch sitcoms.

Right after 'Raymond' I had a world-is-my-oyster attitude, but I found out I don't like oysters. I had this existential emptiness.'What is my purpose? Who am I?' I had a big identity crisis.

Why can't I love him (a 2 yr old nephew) from afar? That's how I want to love him - through pictures and folklore.

If golf wasn't enjoyable and there wasn't a lot of humor and enjoyment, even though the game is so frustrating, you would wonder why you put yourself through it.

My wife said to me 'I hope you win... but if you do and you go up and say you love me, don't think it makes up for never saying it when we're alone.

Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity.

If I'm really considering doing film from now on then that is the smart thing to do, or you can go either way. You can just do the same character over and over again and make a different comedy like over and over again.

Well, I'm a 14 handicap. Anyone who golfs knows what that means.

My career has been my craziest adventure.

The best comedy, I feel, comes in a drama because it balances each other out.

Failure-it centers me. Too much success has me thinking, All right, what's goin' on?

I had to be naked [in Vinyl], but I was almost more nervous about having to be drunk. The director wasn't going to yell, "Too big!," during the nude scene. For the drunk scene, you can be bad drunk or good drunk. We'll see. My wife was not happy, hearing about it.