I’ve concluded, after many years, that my mind works by process of elimination. Problem is, it hasn’t eliminated anything yet.
A man finds love and is satisfied. A woman finds love and insists on turning it into happiness.
I'm right-handed, whereas the fellow in my mirror is left-handed. I start shaving from the left; he starts from the right. Differences only in perception, but religious wars have been fought over such.
If it doesn't work horizontally as prose... it probably won't work any better vertically pretending to be poetry.
I don't lie and cheat, but I don't always avoid actions that would be lying and cheating if someone else did them.
A watched child never learns.
If you understand compound interest, you basically understand the universe.
A senseless tragedy remains forever tragic, but it is up to us whether it remains forever senseless.
If God had intended us to be alone, there would be more pleasure in massaging our own shoulders.
Dare to turn life on its end, and you may find that topsy-turvy is a truer perspective than turvy-topsy.
An old dog, even more than an old spouse, always feels like doing what you feel like doing.
There are things I have wanted so long that I would only consent to have them if I could keep wanting them.
Since the majority is always wrong, might we try one election day where all the losers take office?
I like friends who, when you tell them you need a moment alone, know enough not to stray too far.
Corporations no longer try to fit square pegs into round holes; they just fit them into square cubicles.
I guess, when you get down to it, a loving touch compensates for an unskilled hand about everywhere except in an airplane cockpit.
