Tina Fey Quotes - Page 10

I keep my eyes on the sea, waiting to be rocketed into it on a wave of fire. I'll be ready for it to happen and that way it won't happen. It's a burden, being able to control situations with my hyper-vigilance, but its my lot in life.

I have to say, I'm really not that attractive. Until I met my husband, I could not get a date.

Many of the world's greatest discoveries have been by accident. I mean, look at the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, or Botox.

Once or twice a week I would set my alarm for six A.M. so I could get up and plug in Hot Stix...I would study the curls in the mirror, impressed with both the appliance and my newfound ability to use it. Then, without fail, at the last second before leaving for school, I would ask myself, "Am I supposed to brush it out or leave it?" Why could I never remember" That feeling of "I'm pretty sure this next step is wrong, but I'm just gonna do it anyway" is part of the same set of instincts that makes me such a great cook.

If you’re looking for a spiritual allegory in the style of C.S. Lewis, I guess you could piece something together with Lorne Michaels as a symbol for God and my struggles with hair removal as a metaphor for virtue

No other formula gives your baby a better start in life except that stuff that comes out of you for free.

My parents raised me that you never ask people about their reproductive plans. “You don’t know their situation,” my mom would say. I considered it such an impolite question that for years I didn’t even ask myself. Thirty-five turned into forty faster than McDonald’s food turns into cold nonfood.

I was taken to an examining room where a big butch nurse practitioner came in and asked me if I was pregnant. “No way!” Was I sexually active? “Nope!” Had I ever been molested? “Well,” I said, trying to make a joke, “Oprah says the only answers to that question are ‘Yes’ and ‘I don’t remember.’ ” I laughed. We were having fun. The nurse looked at me, concerned/annoyed.

Trying to be a leader in a sort of very atypical workplace like 'Saturday Night Live' forces you to realize that no one wants you to be their leader. If you can help them get their thing on TV or whatever, they want that. But no adult is looking for a role model.

Only in comedy, by the way, does an obedient white girl from the suburbs count as diversity.

My favorite day at 30 Rock is Thursday, when the show airs. At lunch we screen the episodes. For everyone to watch together, to see the stuff we all worked on, to hear the crew laugh - it’s great fun.

Mary Tyler Moore was a working woman whose story lines were not always about dating and men. They were about work friendships and relationships, which is what I feel my adult life has mostly been about.

This made no sense to me, probably because I speak English and have never had a head injury.

Your characters should be as smart as you are, if not smarter.

It doesn't matter if it's a school play or a dumb TV show. It's your work. You should care about it so much that people get annoyed with you.

I was a very confident little kid.

I really love cursing a lot. But as I get older, I realize it's a little unseemly for women of a certain age.

I am extremely square and obedient in nature!

Most of the time you're too busy to think about it. But every now and then you say, 'I work at 'Saturday Night Live,' and that is so cool.

Acting is really about showing up that day and telling the writers what you feel like saying.

I don't enjoy any kind of danger or volatility. I don't have that kind of 'I love the bad guys' thing. No, no thank you. I like nice people.

The Washington State Supreme Court on Thursday announced a two-year suspension for a lawyer found having jailhouse sex with a triple murder defendant she was representing. HaHa! Jokes on you dummies... I'm not really a lawyer!

A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I'm on my game.

I never get to go to movies, because I'm a mom.

Wafah Dufour bin Laden, niece of Osama bin Laden has signed a contract to star in a reality show... called Skating with the Nieces of Terrorists.