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Will Rogers Quotes - Page 23

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We all joke about Congress but we can't improve on them. Have you noticed that no matter who we elect, he is just as bad as the one he replaces?

We all joke about Congress but we can't improve on them. Have you noticed that no matter who we elect, he is just as bad as the one he replaces?

Politics, Matter, Congress

Just read the farm relief bill. It's just a political version of Einstein's last theory. If a farmer could understand it, he certainly would know more than to farm. He would be a professor at Harvard.

Agriculture, Political, Relief

Will Rogers (1978). “Will Rogers' Daily Telegrams: The Coolidge years, 1926-1929”, Will Rogers Heritage Trust

I read where they are going to limit debate in the Senate. It used to be that a man could talk all day, but now, as soon as he tells all he knows, he has to sit down. Most of these birds will just be getting up and nodding now. Why, some of them won't be able to answer roll call.

Men, Bird, Answers

Will Rogers, Bryan B. Sterling (1988). “The Will Rogers scrapbook”, Random House Value Publishing

When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.

Sports, Athlete, College

It rained in the Middle West. Farmers are learning that the relief they get from the sky beats what they get from Washington.

Sky, Agriculture, Relief

Will Rogers, Bryan B. Sterling (1995). “Will Rogers Speaks: Over 1,000 Timeless Quotations for Public Speakers (writers, Politicians, Comedians, Browsers ...)”, M Evans & Company

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

Movie, Business, Inspiration

"The Image: A Guide to Pseudo-Events in America". Book by Daniel Joseph Boorstein, 1963.

A holding company is the people you give your money to while you're being searched.

People, Giving, Company

They have passed the big inheritance tax, and that gets you when you are gone. You used to could die and be able to beat taxes, but not now. The undertaker don't go over your body as carefully as the assessor does your accumilated assets, and he gets his before the undertaker. They have it on these big fortunes now where they pay as high as 60 to 70 percent of what they leave. That's mighty expensive dying when it runs into money like that, and you won't see 'em dropping off as casually as they have been.

Running, Over You, Dying

We elect our Presidents, be they Republican or Democrat, then start daring 'em to make good.

Political, President, Politics

Will Rogers, Bryan B. Sterling (1995). “Will Rogers Speaks: Over 1,000 Timeless Quotations for Public Speakers (writers, Politicians, Comedians, Browsers ...)”, M Evans & Company

I never met a man I didn't get a kind of strange and exciting tingling sensation from.

Men, Strange, Kind

When you figure it right down, none of us are in a really essential business but the farmer, and he raises so much that even his business is partly non-essential.

Agriculture, Essentials, Figures

Will Rogers (1955). “Sanity is where you find it: an affectionate history of the United States in the 20's and 30's”

The theater is a great equalizer: it is the only place where the poor can look down on the rich.

Theatre, Looks, Rich

"20,000 quips & quotes". Book by Evan Esar, p. 807, 1995.

I arrived at my hut in Beverly Hills just in time to keep real estate men from plotting off and selling my front yard. They will sell you anything or anybody's in the world as long as they can get a first payment... It used to be only Iowa that was out here but now they have three or four adjoining states interested and they are here, too. Real estate agents - you never saw as many in your life; they are as thick as bootleggers.

Real, Men, Iowa

Technocracy wants to do everything by machinery. Machinery is doing just fine. If it can't kill you, it will put you out of work.

Want, Killing, Machinery

Wish all the Farmers would move to town one year, that's the only way I know to clear the thing up.

Moving, Years, Agriculture

Will Rogers, James Smallwood, Steven K. Gragert (1982). “Will Rogers' Weekly Articles: The Harding”

Prosperity this Winter is going to be enjoyed by everybody that is fortunate enough to get into the poor farm.

Business, Winter, Prosperity

Will Rogers (1978). “Will Rogers' Daily Telegrams: The Coolidge years, 1926-1929”, Will Rogers Heritage Trust

I am proud of the fact there is not a human being that I have got it in for. I never met a man I didn't like.

Inspirational, Men, Proud

I bet any Sunday could be made as popular at church as Easter is if you made 'em fashion shows too. The audience is so busy looking at each other that the preacher just as well recite Gunga Din.

Fashion, Easter, Sunday

Will Rogers, Bryan B. Sterling (1995). “Will Rogers Speaks: Over 1,000 Timeless Quotations for Public Speakers (writers, Politicians, Comedians, Browsers ...)”, M Evans & Company

The self persists like a dying star, In sleep, afraid.

Stars, Sleep, Self

I see by the papers that they are going to do away with all the nuisance taxes. That means that a man can get a marriage license for nothing.

Mean, Men, Nuisance

Will Rogers, James Smallwood, Steven K. Gragert (1980). “Will Rogers' Weekly Articles: The Harding”

Now they got such a high inheritance tax on 'em that you won't catch these old rich boys dying promiscuously like they did. This bill makes patriots out of everybody. You sure do die for your country if you die from now on.

Country, Boys, Dying

Will Rogers (1955). “Sanity is where you find it: an affectionate history of the United States in the 20's and 30's”

Andrew Jackson was the first one to think up the idea to promise everybody that if they will vote for you, you will give them an office when you get it, and the more times they vote for you, the bigger the office.

Thinking, Ideas, Giving

Bankers are likeable rascals. Now that we are all wise to 'em, it's been shown that they don't know any more about finances than the rest of us know about our businesses... which has proved to be nothing.

Wise, Business, Bankers

Will Rogers (1979). “Will Rogers' Daily Telegrams: The Hoover years, 1931-1933”, Will Rogers Heritage Trust

In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.

Night, Hollywood, Olympics

I haven't seen a tractor working all day. The country has gone sane and got back to horses. Farmers all look worse, but they feel better.

Country, Horse, Feel Better

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