Alaska Quotes - Page 9

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey, though she said she was amazed to find out that, besides being a bird, Turkey is also a country. Did you see that all over the Internet today? While Sarah Palin was pardoning a turkey, right behind her was a guy slaughtering turkeys. But, see, like most Internet stories, a little half-true. Turns out that, after a couple of minutes listening to Sarah Palin's voice, the turkeys said 'Kill us now.'

It is a truth universally acknowledged that as soon as one part of your life starts looking up, another falls to pieces.

Sarah Palin, who with 17 months remaining in her single term as Alaska's governor quit the only serious office she has ever held, is obsessively discussed as a possible candidate in 2012. Why? She is not going to be president and will not be the Republican nominee unless the party wants to lose at least 44 states.

I'm about to do my second Bikram yoga class in Anchorage, Alaska. It's the only way to stay warm. I've got to get into shape. I've been eating nothing but fish and chips.

Alaska's chief attractions are: (a) its small and insignificant human population, thanks to the miserable climate; and (b) its large and magnificent wildlife population, thanks to (a). Both of these attractions are being rapidly diminished, however, by (c) the Law of Growth and Space-Age Sleaze.

I'm born in Alaska, grew up in Colorado, went to college in Colorado, went to Colorado State, and I actually finished my degree.

Of *course* he needs to renegotiate his salary - the guy buys more snow than Seward did when he bought Alaska from the Russians.

You know, Sarah Palin is the Governor of Alaska, you know that. And she's a lifelong member of the National Rifle Association. So great, is what I'm thinking, another vice president that shoots a drinking buddy; just get ready.

Now how about this, ladies and gentlemen? The Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, has announced she is stepping down. She will no longer be the Governor of Alaska. First thing, she woke up and went out on her porch and waved goodbye to Russia.

What I miss most about living in Alaska is the fishing.

Where were they from originally? The Seabolts?" "I don't know, Idaho, Oklahoma, Iowa. One of those red-neck states with vowels on both ends." "You mean like Alaska?

This year, I feel strong. I'm looking forward to having my best season in the last few years.

On the lip of the Grand Canyon. I've always wanted to do that. My very first TV special out of the Olympics was on a glacier in Alaska. Right after that one, I went and pitched this idea to skate in three National Parks. Like Voyageurs National Park, because it freezes over and you have these little islands that you can skate around. [The networks] were like, 'Way too expensive.'

Alaska is so unblemished. It really gives you a good look back at what the earth looks like without a lot human beings crawling all over it.

Alaska is just such an incredibly beautiful place. Of any place that I have ever been to, it speaks such high volumes about God and creation.

Looking so cool, his greed is hard to conceal, he's fresh out of law school, you gave him a license to steal.