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Discworld Quotes

Multiple exclamation marks, he went on, shaking his head, are a sure sign of a diseased mind.

"Multiple exclamation marks," he went on, shaking his head, "are a sure sign of a diseased mind."

Terry Pratchett
Exclamation Marks, Mind, Discworld
"Eric" by Terry Pratchett, Harper, (p. 153), February 2002.

A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.

Terry Pratchett
Two, People, Discworld
Terry Pratchett (2008). “The Fifth Elephant: (Discworld Novel 24)”, p.123, Random House

Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.

Terry Pratchett
Real, Stupidity, Discworld
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Hogfather: (Discworld Novel 20)”, p.215, Random House

Divide by cucumber error. Please reinstall universe and reboot.

Terry Pratchett
Errors, Cucumbers, Discworld
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Hogfather: (Discworld Novel 20)”, p.218, Random House

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

Terry Pratchett
Helpful, Discworld, Manuals
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Jingo: (Discworld Novel 21)”, p.255, Random House

The pen is mightier than the sword ... if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.

Terry Pratchett
Discworld, Pens, Ifs
"The Light Fantastic". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1986.

Inside every sane person there’s a madman struggling to get out.

Terry Pratchett
Struggle, Fantasy, Discworld

Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.

Terry Pratchett
Dignity, Habit, Discworld
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Small Gods: (Discworld Novel 13)”, p.10, Random House

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease.

Terry Pratchett
Education, Disease, Discworld
"Hogfather" by Terry Pratchett, Harper, (p. 24), March 2008.

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

Terry Pratchett
Jobs, Disease, Discworld
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Hogfather: (Discworld Novel 20)”, p.38, Random House

The trouble with being a god is that you've got no one to pray to.

Terry Pratchett
Praying, Trouble, Discworld
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Small Gods: (Discworld Novel 13)”, p.20, Random House

Words are the litmus paper of the mind.

Terry Pratchett
Mind, Paper, Discworld
"Small Gods (Discworld, Book 13)". Book by Terry Pratchett (p. 114), 1992.

I imagine that fish have no word for water.

Terry Pratchett
Water, Imagine, Discworld
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Small Gods: (Discworld Novel 13)”, p.184, Random House

I like the idea of democracy. You have to have someone everyone distrusts.

Terry Pratchett
Ideas, Democracy, Discworld
"Small Gods". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1992.

What can the harvest hope for...

Terry Pratchett
Azrael, Harvest, Discworld
Terry Pratchett (2017). “Terry Pratchett's Discworld Coloring Book”, p.10, Simon and Schuster

He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.

Terry Pratchett
Atheist, Giving, Discworld
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Small Gods: (Discworld Novel 13)”, p.199, Random House

And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head.

Terry Pratchett
Exclamation Marks, Discworld, Underpants
"Maskerade". Book by ‎Terry Pratchett, 1995.

A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.

Terry Pratchett
Black, Discworld, Holes
Terry Pratchett (2014). “Night Watch”, p.11, A&C Black

And it came to pass that in time the Great God Om spake unto Brutha, the Chosen One: "Psst!

Terry Pratchett
Discworld, Small Gods, Chosen One
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Small Gods: (Discworld Novel 13)”, p.14, Random House

The figures looked more or less human. And they were engaged in religion. You could tell by the knives (it's not murder if you do it for a god).

Terry Pratchett
Knives, Murder, Discworld
"Small Gods". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1992.

Just because it's not nice doesn't mean it's not miraculous.

Terry Pratchett
Nice, Mean, Discworld
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Interesting Times: (Discworld Novel 17)”, p.11, Random House

This I choose to do. If there is a price, this I choose to pay. If it is my death, then I choose to die. Where this takes me, there I choose to go. I choose. This I choose to do.

Terry Pratchett
Pay, Discworld, Take Me
"Wintersmith". Book by Terry Pratchett, 2006.

What're quantum mechanics?" "I don't know. People who repair quantums, I suppose.

Terry Pratchett
People, Mechanic, Discworld
Terry Pratchett (2012). “Eric: Discworld: The Unseen University Collection”, p.43, Hachette UK

If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter.

Terry Pratchett
Taste, Salt, Discworld
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Moving Pictures: (Discworld Novel 10)”, p.31, Random House

Most gods find it hard to walk and think at the same time.

Terry Pratchett
Thinking, Discworld, Walks
"Small Gods". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1992.

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