Would Be Quotes - Page 223

If Lincoln had an affair with a slave woman, it would be an outrage, but when Clinton does it with one of his staff, everyone is okay with it.

I think I started lip-synching about halfway through the first day, and it's not as easy as you think it would be. But it's definitely better than a day job.

There would be too great darkness, if truth had not visible signs.

The quickest way to defuse fear or insecurity or anger is usually humor. I think comics figure that out quickly, and, once you figure it out, you think, 'Hey, if I can do this and get paid, that would be kind of cool.

I thought it would be funny to go to my Korean dry cleaner and ask her about my head shot, as if it's the most important thing in the world, and as if it's something that everyone should weigh on because it's important to me.

Everybody I'm working with now is a friend. And I would be very, very remiss to work with anybody in the future who has not shown me who they really are.

I mean, I'm certainly not a 'teaophyte,' or whatever the word would be.

I think comics overall would be better. I think there's a tremendous potential to be tapped.

Your fingernails are a joke, you've got no fangs, you can't see at night, your pink hides are ridiculous, your reflexes are nil, and you don't even have tails! Of course people aren't content! ... Now if tigers weren't content, that would be something to wonder about.

Perhaps the crime situation would be improved if we could get more cops off television and onto the streets.

Our court dockets are so crowded today it would be better to refer to it as the overdue process of law.

I'm angry at what's happening to America and angry with myself that I can't do more. I would be miserable if I couldn't bear witness.

If we had about 100 years, that sort of slow cultural conversion would be exactly the thing to do. But physics is calling the tune here. We've got to respond to a timetable that physics has set for us.

One of the reasons I still do stand-up is because it was so hard in the beginning that I feel like it would be such a shame not to redeem it that it's all fun.

If we stopped calling it profiling and started calling it "proactive intelligence screening" or "high alert detecting", people would be saying "Well, it's about time".

It would be kind of a tragedy if we got to the end of four years of Democratic rule without having really tried any Democratic policies.

I always thought it would be really cool to be playing the drums in the show and then have your astral body or whatever travel all through the audience and dig whatever it's like out there.

Choosing my favorite moment in journalism would be like picking a favorite among my children. I can't pick one favorite.

All of my cats are adopted and all show their gratitude on a daily basis. I don't know where I would be without them.

I'm not fond of any of my films in an intimate way, but Gregory's Girl would be number 4 on my list.

Ladies, you wake up tomorrow and the newspaper reads Scientists have discovered a way for men to experience childbirth. That would be awesome.

I'd love to be a woman for one day of my life... God... I would be drunk with power.

Going back to high school and college, I believed I would be involved in public service. I literally could not conceptualize anything else.

I never imagined I would be in a film with Steve Martin. I was a little star struck, because I grew up watching his movies.

I like it when I'm on the stage, but honestly, I would be very happy if I could cut it off, just enjoy my life when I wasn't performing.