Bill Watterson Quotes - Page 9

Good friends are hard to come by... I need more money.

Having an enviable career is one thing. Being a happy person is another

Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other.

CALVIN: As usual goodness hardly puts up a fight.

Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.

Since September it's just gotten colder and colder. There's less daylight now, I've noticed too. This can only mean one thing - the sun is going out. In a few more months the Earth will be a dark and lifeless ball of ice. Dad says the sun isn't going out. He says its colder because the earth's orbit is taking us farther from the sun. He says winter will be here soon. Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?

Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar?

You can draw a penguin on a toilet reading The New York Times and it's adorable, but try doing it with an adult male character, and it's disgusting.

Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?

It's only work if somebody makes you do it.

That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.

So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they're already met?

Scientific Progress goes boink?

I've been thinking Hobbes" "On a weekend?" "Well, it wasn't on purpose

Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?" Television: "...it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet

Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone. -Hobbes

Calvin: Today for show and tell, I've brought a tiny miracle of nature: a single snowflake! I think we might all learn a lesson from how this utterly unique and exquisite crystal turns into an ordinary, boring molecule of water just like every other one when you bring it into the classroom. And now, while the analogy sinks in, I will be leaving you drips and going outside.

You know what's the rage this year? ...Hats.

Is it truly being good if the only reason I behave well is so I can get more loot at Christmas? I mean, really, all I'm doing is saying I can be bribed.

I wonder where we go when we die?” “…Pittsburgh?” “You mean if we’re good or if we’re bad?

Sleepwalking?" "Nightmare?" "Homicidal psycho jungle cat!

Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat.

Every time I've built character, I've regretted it.

Planet Bog - Pools of toxic chemicals bubble under a choking atmosphere of poisonous gases... but aside from that, it's not much like Earth.

You never know when some crazed rodent with cold feet could be running loose in your pants.