I was influenced by every comedian I ever saw work. That's the only way you learn how to do it.
This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now.
I think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though youre poking fun at someone or something, theres still an affection for it.
I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage.
Humor's a weapon if you want to make it one.
I've done more than I thought I was ever going to do. I've had a very long and very satisfying career.
Funny is funny is funny.
Marriage and fatherhood heighten the disillusion that we all think we are born handy. We confidently believe that we can fix things around the house, as if it's part of the collective brain that was further enhanced by eighth-grade shop class.
Every new routine I have ever written and performed probably occurred extemporaneously. Then after you have fleshed it out and tried it out in front of a number of audiences and it works, you put it down on paper.
You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.
Women are more emotional. They do get flustered. Which is not to say that men are better than they. It's simply the way it is.
Jack Benny was, without a doubt, the bravest comedian I have ever seen work. He wasn't afraid of silence. He would take as long as it took to tell the story.
Continuing to do stand-up is always a challenge because the audiences and the environments in which you work very often differ.
When you're going for a joke, you're stuck out there if it doesn't work. There's nowhere to go. You've done the drum role and the cymbal clash and you're out on the end of the plank.
Stammering is different than stuttering. Stutterers have trouble with the letters, while stammerers trip over entire parts of a sentence. We stammerers generally think of ourselves as very bright. My own private theory is that stammerers have so many ideas swirling around their brains at once that they can't get them all out, though I haven't found any scientific evidence to back that up.
The best advice I could give someone trying to get into the comedy field is to take advantage of every opportunity you have to work to hone your skills.
I kind of do it in my head, then I'll try pieces of it on stage and if it looks promising, I'll put it together.
I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.
Don't be silly and don't waste your time.
I wasn't much good. When I went into the line on a fake - I would holler 'I don't have it!'
The giant superstars are people whose talent is so enormous that their death wish can't destroy it.
Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.
I worked in accounting for two and a half years, realized that wasn't what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, and decided I was just going to give comedy a try.
When I started out in 1960, I thought it might possibly last a couple of years. I never expected it to last 42. I take great satisfaction in that longevity.
In today's world, you would call my father mostly unaccessible. I'm not sure that isn't true of most fathers at that time. He went through the Depression. I don't know what that would have done to my psyche.
