I don't know if I can live on my income or not - the government won't let me try it.
Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.
Money talks — but credit has an echo.
My mind wanders a lot, but fortunately it's too weak to go very far.
I believe in facing reality. But only because I don't like turning my back on it.
When you come into the world you have nothing... when you leave you have nothing... and in between there's the IRS.
People used to live lives of quiet desperation - now they go on talk shows!
I like to get to work early. Before my brain knows what I'm up to.
The Senate being tied is a start. Now, if only it could be gagged.
It's not that Good doesn't triumph over Evil, it's that the point spread is too small.
A fool and his money are soon parted. It takes creative tax laws for the rest.
