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Charles Dickens Quotes about Funny

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If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.

If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Law, People
Charles Dickens (1848). “The Old Curiosity Shop ... With a Frontispiece. From a Painting by Geo. Cattermole, Etc”, p.255

A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self.

Charles Dickens
Love, Funny, Family

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!

Charles Dickens
Funny, Christmas, Xmas
"The Pickwick Papers". Book by Charles Dickens, 1836.

Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.

Charles Dickens
Funny, People, Literature
Charles Dickens (1872). “A Cyclopedia of the Best Thoughts of Charles Dickens”, p.197

Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!

Charles Dickens
Funny, Christmas, Heart
"A Christmas Carol". Book by Charles Dickens, 1843.

It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Kings, Humorous
Charles Dickens (1838). “The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club”, p.252

He would make a lovely corpse.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Death, Witty
Martin Chuzzlewit ch. 25 (1844)

It being a part of Mrs. Pipchin's system not to encourage a child's mind to develop and expand itself like a young flower, but to open it by force like an oyster.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Children, Humorous
Charles Dickens (1867). “Charles Dickens's works. Charles Dickens ed. [18 vols. of a 21 vol. set. Wanting A child's history of England; Christmas stories; The mystery of Edwin Drood].”, p.65

"She's a very charming and delightful creature," quoth Mr. Robert Sawyer, in reply; "and has only one fault that I know of, Ben. It happens, unfortunately, that that single blemish is a want of taste. She don't like me."

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Want
Charles Dickens (1838). “The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club”, p.326

Think! I've got enough to do, and little enough to get for it, without thinking.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Thinking
Charles Dickens (1852). “Bleak House”, p.108

I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Mind
Charles Dickens (1868). “The Works of Charles Dickens ...”, p.435

All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Morning, Food
Charles Dickens (2006). “Martin Chuzzlewit: Easyread Edition”, p.423, ReadHowYouWant.com

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Taken
CHARLES DICKENS (1871). “THE MYSTERY OF EDWIN DROOD, MASTER HUMPHREY'S CLOCK, AND SKETCHES BY "BOZ".”, p.218

Mr. Bazzard's father, being a Norfolk farmer, would have furiously laid about him with a flail, a pitch-fork, and every agricultural implement available for assaulting purposes, on the slightest hint of his son's having written a play.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Father, Humorous
Charles Dickens (2009). “The Complete Works of Charles Dickens: Edwin Drood and Miscellaneous”, p.207, Cosimo, Inc.

His wardrobe was extensive-very extensive-not strictly classical perhaps, not quite new, nor did it contain any one garment made precisely after the fashion of any age or time, but everything was more or less spangled; and what can be prettier than spangles!

Charles Dickens
Funny, Fashion, Humorous
Charles Dickens (2016). “Charles Dickens: The Complete Christmas Novels & Tales (Illustrated): 30 Classics in One Volume: A Christmas Carol, The Battle of Life, The Chimes, Oliver Twist, Tom Tiddler's Ground, The Holly-Tree, Doctor Marigold, The Pickwick Papers, Great Expectations and more”, p.3792, e-artnow

Dombey sat in the corner of the darkened room in the great arm-chair by the bedside, and Son lay tucked up warm in a little basket bedstead, carefully disposed on a low settee immediately in front of the fire and close to it, as if his constitution were analogous to that of a muffin, and it was essential to toast him brown while he was very new.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Son
Charles Dickens (2016). “Dombey and Son”, p.5, Xist Publishing

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Men
Charles Dickens (1844). “The Life and Adventures of Martin Chuzzlewit”, p.335, Chapman and Hall

"Well," said my aunt, "this is his boy - his son. He would be as like his father as it's possible to be, if he was not so like his mother, too."

Charles Dickens
Funny, Mother, Father
Charles Dickens (1872). “The Works of Charles Dickens”, p.87

Ven you read the speeches in the papers, and see as vun gen'lman says of another, 'the Honourable member, if he vill allow me to call him so' you vill understand, sir, that that means, 'if he vill allow me to keep up that 'ere pleasant and uniwersal fiction.'

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Mean
Charles Dickens (2009). “The Complete Works of Charles Dickens: Edwin Drood and Miscellaneous”, Cosimo, Inc.

"Ah, Miss, hope is an excellent thing for such as has the spirits to bear it!" said Mrs Wickam, shaking her head. "My own spirits is not equal to it, but I don't owe it any grudge. I envys them that is so blest!"

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Missing
Charles Dickens, Hablot Knight Browne (1848). “Dombey and Son”, p.584

Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin' day, or Warren's blackin' or Rowland's oil, or some o' them low fellows; never you let yourself down to talk poetry, my boy.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Boys
1836-7 Sam Weller's father. Pickwick Papers, ch.33.

Indeed, it may be laid down as a general principle, that the more extended the ancestry, the greater the amount of violence and vagabondism; for in ancient days those two amusements, combining a wholesome excitement with a promising means of repairing shattered fortunes, were at once the ennobling pursuit and the healthful recreation of the Quality of this land.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Mean
Charles Dickens “The Life and Adventures of Martin Chuzzlewit”

"Oh!" said my aunt, "I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting."

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Aunt
Charles Dickens (1850). “Personal History, Adventures, Experience and Observations of David Copperfield the Younger”, p.155

"The twins no longer derive their sustenance from Nature's founts - in short," said Mr. Micawber, in one of his bursts of confidence, "they are weaned..."

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Twins
Charles Dickens (1867). “Charles Dickens's works. Charles Dickens ed. [18 vols. of a 21 vol. set. Wanting A child's history of England; Christmas stories; The mystery of Edwin Drood].”, p.156

"Peggotty!" repeated Miss Betsey, with some indignation. "Do you mean to say, child, that any human being has gone into a Christian church, and got herself named Peggotty?"

Charles Dickens
Funny, Christian, Children
Charles Dickens (1867). “Charles Dickens's works. Charles Dickens ed. [18 vols. of a 21 vol. set. Wanting A child's history of England; Christmas stories; The mystery of Edwin Drood].”, p.4

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