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Charles Dickens Quotes about Funny - Page 2

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There is no such passion in human nature, as the passion for gravy among commercial gentlemen.

There is no such passion in human nature, as the passion for gravy among commercial gentlemen.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Passion
Charles Dickens (1850). “The life and adventures of Martin Chuzzlewit: With a frontispiece, from a drawing by Frank Stone”, p.82

In the majority of cases, conscience is an elastic and very flexible article

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Majority
Charles Dickens, Hablot Knight Browne, George Cattermole, Daniel Maclise, Gino Doria (1871). “The Old Curiosity Shop Charles Dickens”, p.49

For your popular rumour, unlike the rolling stone of the proverb, is one which gathers a deal of moss in its wanderings up and down.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Moss
Charles Dickens (1868). “The Old Curiosity Shop: And Reprinted Pieces”, p.215

He appeared to enjoy beyond everything the sound of his own voice. I couldn't wonder at that, for it was mellow and full and gave great importance to every word he uttered. He listened to himself with obvious satisfaction and sometimes gently beat time to his own music with his head or rounded a sentence with his hand.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Hands
Charles Dickens (1853). “Bleak House”, p.15

... Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Eye
Charles Dickens (2015). “The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club, Volume 1 (of 2) (Illustrations)”, p.10, E. P. DUTTON & COMPANY

Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Men
'Martin Chuzzlewit' (1844) ch. 5 (Mark Tapley)

If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Ideas
'Dombey and Son' (1848) ch. 48 (Mr Toots)

Wen you're a married man, Samivel, you'll understand a good many things as you don't understand now; but vether it's worth while goin' through so much to learn so little, as the charity-boy sand ven he go to the end of the alphabet, it's a matter of taste.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Marriage, Learning
Charles Dickens (1993). “The Pickwick Papers”, p.350, Wordsworth Editions

"Vell," said Mr. Weller, "Now I s'pose he'll want to call some witnesses to speak to his character, or p'raps to prove a alleybi. I've been a turnin' the bis'ness over in my mind, and he may make his-self easy, Sammy. I've got some friends as'll do either for him, but my adwice 'ud be this here-never mind the character, and stick to the alleybi. Nothing like a alleybi, Sammy, nothing."

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Rap
Charles Dickens (1838). “The Posthumous papers of the Pickwick club”, p.45

Poor Mr. Pickwick! ... If he played a wrong card, Miss Bolo looked a small armoury of daggers; if he stopped to consider which was the right one, Lady Snuphanuph would throw herself back in her chair, and smile with a mingled glance of impatience and pity to Mrs. Colonel Wugsby, at which Mrs. Colonel Wugsby would shrug up her shoulders, and cough, as much as to say she wondered whether he ever would begin.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Missing
Charles Dickens (2017). “THE GREATEST DICKENS CLASSICS (Illustrated Edition): Oliver Twist, The Pickwick Papers, Great Expectations, A Tale of Two Cities, Hard Times, David Copperfield, A Christmas Carol, Bleak House, Little Dorrit, Our Mutual Friend, The Life of Dickens”, p.2522, e-artnow

Then, at the end of every hand, Miss Bolo would inquire with a dismal countenance and reproachful sigh, why Mr. Pickwick had not returned that diamond, or led the club, or roughed the spade, or finessed the heart, or led through the honour, or brought out the ace, or played up to the king, or some such thing; and in reply to all these grave charges, Mr. Pickwick would be wholly unable to plead any justification whatever, having by this time forgotten all about the game.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Kings, Humorous
Charles Dickens (1870). “The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club”, p.312

... still his philanthropy was of that gunpowderous sort that the difference between it and animosity was hard to determine.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Differences
CHARLES DICKENS (1871). “THE MYSTERY OF EDWIN DROOD, MASTER HUMPHREY'S CLOCK, AND SKETCHES BY "BOZ".”, p.32

Dombey and Son had often dealt in hides, but never in hearts. They left that fancy ware to boys and girls, and boarding-schools and books. Mr. Dombey would have reasoned: That a matrimonial alliance with himself must, in the nature of things, be gratifying and honourable to any woman of common sense. That the hope of giving birth to a new partner in such a house, could not fail to awaken a glorious and stirring ambition in the breast of the least ambitious of her sex.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Girl, Sex
1846-8 Dombey and Son, ch.1.

But Rosa soon made the discovery that Miss Twinkleton didn't read fairly. She cut the love-scenes, interpolated passages in praise of female celibacy, and was guilty of other glaring pious frauds.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Cutting
Charles Dickens (1871). “The Mystery of Edwin Drood and Other Pieces”, p.143

I don't quite recollect how many tumblers of whiskey toddy each man drank after supper; but this I know, that about one o'clock in the morning, the baillie's grown-up son became insensible while attempting the first verse of 'Willie brewed a peck o' maut'; and he having been, for half an hour before, the only other man visible above the mahogany, it occurred to my uncle that it was almost time to think about going.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Morning, Uncles
Charles Dickens (2016). “The Pickwick Papers: The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club”, p.554, Pan Macmillan

Mr. and Mrs. Boffin sat staring at mid-air, and Mrs. Wilfer sat silently giving them to understand that every breath she drew required to be drawn with a self-denial rarely paralleled in history.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Air
Charles Dickens (1868). “Charles Dickens's works. Charles Dickens ed. [18 vols. of a 21 vol. set. Wanting A child's history of England; Christmas stories; The mystery of Edwin Drood].”, p.69

In particular, there was a butler in a blue coat and bright buttons, who gave quite a winey flavour to the table beer; he poured it out so superbly.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Beer
Charles Dickens (1867). “Charles Dickens's works. Charles Dickens ed. [18 vols. of a 21 vol. set. Wanting A child's history of England; Christmas stories; The mystery of Edwin Drood].”, p.98

Mrs. Boffin, insisting that Bella should make tomorrow's expedition in the chariot, she went home in great grandeur. Mrs. Wilfer and Miss Lavinia had speculated much on the probabilities and improbabilities of her coming in this gorgeous state, and, on beholding the chariot from the window at which they were secreted to look out for it, agreed that it must be detained at the door as long as possible, for the mortification and confusion of the neighbours.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Home
Charles Dickens (2006). “Our Mutual Friend: Easyread Edition”, p.26, ReadHowYouWant.com

"It's an old habit of mine, Wal'r," said the Captain, "any time these fifty year. When you see Ned Cuttle bite his nails, Wal'r, then you may know that Ned Cuttle's aground."

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Years
Charles Dickens (2009). “The Complete Works of Charles Dickens (in 30 Volumes, Illustrated): Dombey and Son, Vol. I”, p.219, Cosimo, Inc.

The great commander, who seemed by expression of his visage to be always on the look-out for something in the extremest distance, and to have no ocular knowledge of anything within ten miles, made no reply whatever.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Distance, Humorous
Charles Dickens (2016). “Dombey and Son”, p.336, Xist Publishing

Let me see you ride a donkey over my green again, and as sure as you have a head upon your shoulders, I'll knock your bonnet off, and tread upon it!

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Green
Charles Dickens (2016). “David Copperfield (World Classics, Unabridged)”, p.159, Vij Books India Pvt Ltd

He was drunk upon the average once a day, and penitent upon an equally fair calculation once a month; and when he was penitent, he was invariably in the very last stage of maudlin intoxication. He was a ragged, roving, roaring kind of fellow, with a burly form, a sharp wit, and a ready head, and could turn his hand to anything when he chose to do it.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Average
Charles Dickens (1903). “The Works of Charles Dickens: Sketches by Boz : illustrative of every day life and everyday people. 1903”

He was by no means opposed to hard labour on principle, for he would work away at a cricket-match by the day together, - running, and catching, and batting, and bowling, and revelling in toil which would exhaust a galley-slave.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Running, Humorous
Charles Dickens, William Harrison Ainsworth, Albert Smith (1837). “Bentley's Miscellany”, p.54, Richard Bentley]

"Next," said Mrs Wilfer with a wave of her gloves, expressive of abdication under protest from the culinary throne, "I would recommend examination of the bacon in the saucepan on the fire, and also of the potatoes by the application of a fork. Preparation of the greens will further become necessary if you persist in this unseemly demeanour."

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Fire
Charles Dickens (2017). “THE GREATEST DICKENS CLASSICS (Illustrated Edition): Oliver Twist, The Pickwick Papers, Great Expectations, A Tale of Two Cities, Hard Times, David Copperfield, A Christmas Carol, Bleak House, Little Dorrit, Our Mutual Friend, The Life of Dickens”, p.895, e-artnow

Both Miss Lavinia and Miss Clarissa had a superstition, however, that he would have declared his passion, if he had not been cut short in his youth (at about sixty) by over-drinking his constitution, and over-doing an attempt to set it right again by swilling Bath water.

Charles Dickens
Funny, Humorous, Drinking
Charles Dickens (2016). “Charles Dickens Six Pack: Six Dickens Classics”, p.1249, Enhanced Media Publishing

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