Daniel Handler Quotes - Page 19

I was too jitterbuggy happy to sleep, and the whole day kept playing in my brain's little screening room.

Everybody has a theory.

The miracle is the adverbs, the way things are done.

Love was in the air, so both of us walked through love on our way to the corner.

Make sure you have your own mask on, before helping others with theirs.

They say that when you’re really in love, the world becomes gossamer and gorgeous, but in my experience the world gets grimy, and the love object is in stark relief from the surroundings. This is love, a pretty thing on an ugly street.

Just about everybody has written a first novel that they throw away before writing their actual first novel.

There are secrets everywhere. I think everyone's parents have secrets. You just have to know where to look for them.

Shyness is a curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people at any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down.

I write storys to entertain not to be the best

Stop saying no offense,” I said, “when you say offensive things. It’s not a free pass.

I liked, I admit, that we didn’t pretend there hadn’t been other girls. There was always a girl on you in the halls at school, like they came free with a backpack.

The whole thing of what I’ve been trying,” you said, “is that you’re different, and you keep asking about the other girls, but what I mean is that I don’t think about them, because of the way you are.

To stutter through it with you or even stop stuttering and say nothing, was so lucky and soft, better talk than mile-a-minute with anyone. After a few minutes we’d stop rattling, we’d adjust, we’d settle in, and the conversation would speed into the night.

Everyone on earth would never starve and forever find love and happiness, since we won, but if we’d lost, they would have gouged out our eyes and thrown us naked onto hot coals and poisonous snakes for all the cheering and hugging at the end, strangers hugging like the end of The Omega Virus when Steve Sturmine finds the antidote.

If you enjoy books with happy endings than you are better off reading some other book.

Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.

Santa Claus has nothing to do with it," the latke said. "Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things." "But different things can often blend together," said the pine tree. "Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals.

Tea should be as bitter as wormwod and as sharp as a two eged sword Kit Snicket (a series of unfortunate events)

Wherever there’s a conductor, you’re sure to find a dead composer!

Fetching objects for people who are too lazy to fetch them for themselves is never a pleasant task, particularly when the people are insulting you.

There are those who say that life is like a book, with chapters for each event in your life and a limited number of pages on which you can spend your time. But I prefer to think that a book is like a life, particularly a good one, which is well to worth staying up all night to finish.

The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world.

Bad circumstances have a way of ruining things that would otherwise be pleasant.

Life never end when you are in it.