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Daniel Handler Quotes about Coffee

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Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, and when you do, it makes you want to hide under the coffee table.

Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, and when you do, it makes you want to hide under the coffee table.

Daniel Handler
Coffee, Pet, Tables
"The Slippery Slope". Book by Daniel Handler, September 23, 2003.

This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.

Daniel Handler
Sex, Coffee, Cookies
Daniel Handler (2012). “Why We Broke Up”, p.82, Egmont UK

Various parts of my body told me that in the future they would appreciate it if I slept lying down on a bed instead of sitting at the counter of Black Cat Coffee. I quietly reassured them that this was an unusual situation, and had the machinery make me some bread as a breakfast.

Daniel Handler
Lying, Coffee, Cat

It's different," you said. "You've made, Min, everything different for me. Everything's like coffee you made me try, better than I ever - or the places I didn't even know were right on the street, you know? I'm like this thing I saw when I was little, where a kid hears a noise under his bed and there's a ladder there that's never been there before, and he climbs down and, it's for kids I know, but this song starts playing..." Your eyes were traveling in the treey light.

Daniel Handler
Song, Coffee, Kids
"Why We Broke Up". Book by Daniel Handler, December, 2011.

How wrong to think I was anyone else, like thinking grass stains make you a beautiful view, like getting kissed makes you kissable, like feeling warm makes you coffee, like liking movies makes you a director. How utterly incorrect to think it any other way, a box of crap is treasures, a boy smiling means it, a gentle moment is a life improved.

Daniel Handler
Beautiful, Coffee, Mean
Daniel Handler (2012). “Why We Broke Up”, p.196, Egmont UK

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