David Cross Quotes - Page 4

[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.

I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.

If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.

I also try to think of ways to articulate the joke more economically.

If people disagree with me and want to articulate it, that's not only their right but almost their obligation.

Most people who have kids are, "Hey, I want another me. I like me. I'm pretty cool, and I've got really great ideas, and the way I think is the right way to think. Let's put another one of me out there.

When we were on the bus doing the Mr. Show Hooray for America Tour there was a lot of laughter and a lot of pot smoking and a lot of speed metal listening and video game playing. Of course that was all Brian Posehn.

I work a lot and I like to get out and work but the work I do to make the other work work I'm not very good at.

I just often find myself getting shrill, angry and the jokes get more incredulous.

I was heavily influenced by Andy Kaufman and Steven Wright.

I have no hesitation doing children's movies. Zero. And I don't even have kids.

I'm pretty happy. I obviously have complaints about things, but for the most part, I'm on the above-average side of happy people.

Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about.

I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.

Besides if people really want to support the troops they would vote democrat.

There were a number of referendums in '98 that most of the things I voted for passed. That's very satisfying when you feel that most of the country is in step with your views.

I'll think of the idea and then I'll write something down, then within that there will be a joke or two which is the original thing which I thought was funny.

Ive got a lot of friends there and there is stuff to do but as much as I dislike LA I really like living and working in New York City.

I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

I lived in LA for almost nine years and if I never went back there again it would be fine.

I think people, for the most part, actually want what they think is best.

I'd be curious to find out, but I don't think people in the entertainment industry are proportionally more or less serious politically than anyone in the landscaping industry.

I love Tinkle, it's really the most fun I've had in years.

My biggest problem is retaining the exact information.

Nobody is going to be as bad for free thinking, right-minded individuals than George Bush.