David Spade Quotes - Page 3

I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.

I have no detectable hair style.

No one wants to know I set my alarm and get up 8, but I think it's too weird to sleep in too late.

Hopefully, underlying all my jokes is an element of surprise.

It wasn't a cutdown to call someone a Mexican. It would kill my career to refer to someone as Mexican today. It's like calling me an American.

I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder.

I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.

I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh.

MySpace is a great way to keep in touch with friends who you don't care enough about to actually have a conversation with, why bother calling to say "how are you," when you can just surf their page and post an mpeg of a guy farting on his cat.

I've got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose.

It's hard to have a career.

I feel like I've got this anti-marriage thing, but it's less that and more I'm overthinking it to get it right.

I'm like a Dilbert cartoon.

When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story.

My career is just kind of crazy.

As boys get older, they can't let on that it's cool to meet me.

I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.

I've been with a beautiful girl from time to time.

It's so crazy in Hollywood.

A friend of Nicole Ritchie told the New York Post that Nicole is definitely pregnant.

On Sundays, I lay low, sulk a lot, and try to get my head together for next week.

I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.

I started doing the star turn and making a profit off it. Now I'm kind of one of them.

I don't like throwing myself in a place that's going to rock my world.

People come and go around you, but you're never the one getting the big stuff. I like that.