Dick Gregory Quotes - Page 4

When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It's not enough, but it helps.

Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only way we can get to shake a bat at a white man without starting a riot.

You know, I always say white is not a colour, white is an attitude, and if you haven't got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don't need, you can't be white.

Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother's milk.

Now here's what I'm saying: I've always believed that every other month we hear about compromisation of bank records, I think that's the CIA and the FBI. Now let me tell you why I'm saying this. I don't believe no insignificant pip-squeak is going to be able to pull this off month after month and we can't find out what's going on.

When you look at Hitler and those thugs, you can put Walmart right next to them.

Everything we do we should look at in terms of millions of people who can't afford it.

I didn't realize, when I decided to be a comic, that a black person had never been allowed to stand flat-footed in America and talk to white folks. It never happened before.

At the very last moment, Nature would force you to blink your eye. Nature will protect her own.

My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that's never been explained.

I would never teach a child of mine to be kind to a cop who would shoot you in the back of the head. I would never have that conversation because children don't hear what you mean, they hear what you say.

Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.

Eating liver out of a cow's body is like eating the filter out of a car.

I buy about $1,500 worth of papers every month. Not that I trust them. I'm looking for the crack in the fabric.

My mother was the sweetest lady who ever lived on this planet, but if you tried to tell her that Jesus wasn't a Christian, she would stomp you to death.

A Klaner KKK is a cat who gets out of bed in the middle of the night and takes his sheet with him.

The jelly-bean eating thug says that national defense is important. But national defense starts at home.

To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.

It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn't stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.

Once we used to have to crank up our cars, now you can pop it on from inside your house. Everything has changed except how we get freedom.

Don't have a high school diploma? You're in my Cabinet. Why? For 200 years, a lot of Cabinets have existed in our government. Powerful men. Well-educated. So let's try something totally new.

Because you make me laugh don't make you a comic. A comedian is a person who, that's how they make their living.

I won't say I'm out of condition now - but I even puff going downstairs.

I never thought I'd see the day that I would see white folks as frightened, or more so, than black folks was during the civil rights movement when we was in Mississippi.

It's cool to be healthy.