I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck.
On other shows when they get to the end of the scene, they yell 'Cut!' On Whose Line, we yell 'That's Enough!'
I learned how to believe in myself. Learned how to set goals, you know, self help books man. I just read every single one I can get a hold of, and I still do.
I don't run outside, honestly. Sometimes I go out around my house, but mainly it's the stupid treadmill. I wish I had a better answer, but I'm very businesslike about my runs.
It sucks being fat, you know.
The economy is in trouble, schools are in trouble, and people have been leaving the city in droves for a long, long time.
I remember when I took a temp job... so I got a job at a department store. Something temporary to put on my resume, my parents said. Yeah... till I die!
I like to think of my house as nothing more than a glorified console for my television; the ultimate stereo cabinet.
In any other job, they're truck drivers. In show-biz, they're Transportation Captains.
Every election I have to hold my nose to vote.
Libertarians are conservatives who still get high.
I have a position of indirect respect and oblique power.
Eating crappy food isn't a reward -- it's a punishment.
The people of Cleveland hate soccer. But it's my favourite thing and I follow the U.S. men's national team around when they play whenever I can.
Being a celebrity you always get really good seats to sporting events but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. So one of the scams I have going now is I want to learn sports photography so I can get better seats at a sporting event.
It doesn't matter how smart you are; to audition for 'Jeopardy,' you just have to luck out and know what they're asking you that day.
I actually was worried about the pounding, but I actually love running more than working out on the elliptical. Now if I get on the elliptical, I feel like I'm trapped.
I think that if anyone bothered to take a survey, they would find a sharp decline in atheism during the winters in Cleveland, Ohio.
The first Monopoly game I played with my brothers, I hated losing so much, I just had to beat them.
I loved the old stories in National Lampoon, like the original story the movie Vacation was based on. I used to laugh at them until I cried.
The Marines was a fresh start - that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name.
What also helps our show is that we never take ourselves seriously.
Oh, and once, when I was in the Marines, I got a perfect score on my physical fitness test.
I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?'
I could still eat a cheeseburger if I wanted to. I just can't have them every day.
