Drew Carey Quotes - Page 2

When I'm working, I'm going to avoid all media. No newspapers, no magazines, no movies, no radio, no TV. I'm just going to do creative work.

I don't think there's hardly a comic out there that does clean material all the way around. There's a couple of guys that are clean, but I'm not one of them.

I moved from Cleveland to L.A. with a girlfriend, we broke up, and I lived out of my car for a year and a half, on the road with nothing on my mind but getting my act good enough to be on 'The Tonight Show.'

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed.

The easiest diet is, you know, eat vegetables, eat fresh food. Just a really sensible healthy diet like you read about all the time.

Vegas is everything that's right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They've effectively legalized everything there.

And for you kids watching at home, remember, the less homework you do and the closer you sit to the TV, the more points you get.

I wish I could end every rap song I didn't like with a buzzer.

Just because a guy has a shaved head, pierced nipples, and doesn't have sex with women doesn't make him gay. It just makes him down on his luck.

My cranky cardiologist says I'm destined to die in the kitchen.

I'm the kind of person that likes what I'm doing when I'm doing it.

Everybody in Hollywood loves symbolic gestures.

You know what I worry about? I worry that when I hit my head, it pushes my hair into my brain, and it will eventually kill me.

I don't know what people are going to think of my stand-up. If you only know me from 'The Price Is Right' and 'The Drew Carey Show,' then you might be a little bit shocked. I'm a little dirty and a little opinionated but all in fun.

I am never out there just jogging for the heck of it. I never do that. I start to run with a goal in mind, whether it's a certain time or certain distance or a specific heart-rate goal, and then I am done.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

After all, game shows are not like working in a coal mine.

I was just sick of being fat, you know? You get sick of it. It just really, it's a tiring lifestyle to have.

Boy, a drive-through liquor store. God bless America! A place where you can drive through and buy whiskey, beer... just the thing for that drunk driver who's constantly on the go. Cant stop now! I've got places to go, people to hit!

I'm competitive at everything.

Violence doesn't solve anything? World War I. World War II. Star Wars. Every Super Bowl. Who says violence doesn't solve anything?

Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.

Isn't it amazing that the Germans call their city halls 'rat houses'? That's what we should call our city halls!

Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.