I don't want our culture diluted. We need to close the borders now and let everyone assimilate to a Western, white, English-speaking way of life.
"My only problem with women breastfeeding in public is they never wink back." It's kind of the perfect joke because it's a bait and switch.
One of the downsides of being special is that you feel out of place wherever you go.
If something doesnt feel normal to me, it must be wrong. Failing to have a shred of imaginative empathy is a virtue!
I've always found that word ["hipster"] is used with such disdain, like it's always used by chubby bloggers who aren't getting laid anymore and are bored, and they're just so mad at these young kids for going out and getting wasted and having fun and being fashionable.
There's this other world where all comedians want to do is make funny videos. Typically what's happened in the past is that a comedian gets a standup career and over the course of 20 years builds it up to the point where Comedy Central gives them a sketch show.
I find comedians to be the biggest cocksuckers, because they don't want people to know how easy it is.
I feel like the government is more evil than most corporations.
Once anyone who has a sense of humor can do what they want, they want to do funny bits as much as possible.
Once I sold my shares and figured I wanted to get out of the magazine business it was like, "Now I can do whatever I want, anything I want in the world." And I guess I subconsciously hoped it would be something a little more adult. But I just want to do funny shorts, and TV is the ultimate endpoint for that.
I'm not a tough guy or a good fighter at all. [Boxing] is just a great way to work out that's not boring. It's also good for your mental health. If you have an Irish or Scottish last name you should definitely do it.
I'm scared of snakebites - that's the origin of cowboy boots, protection - but my toes need to breathe.
I started noticing a lot of big companies are bored with ads; they feel sort of lost in the advertising world. They're not into magazines anymore.
When you're in nature, inevitably your video is going to involve nature.
