Graham Chapman Quotes - Page 2

Stormy in love, stormy in interviews, breakfast in bed - that's me, love.

In 1945, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again.

An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a definite proposition... A contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says." No, it's not.

Death can really absorb a person. Lik most people, I would find it pleasant not to have to go, but you just accept that it's more or less inevitable.

One thing for sure - a sheep is not a creature of the air.

I'm having Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam and Spam!

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

When Beethoven went deaf, the mynah bird just used to mime.

I am known by many names, but you may call me...Tim.

WHAT is your name? WHAT is your quest? and WHAT is your favorite color?

She turned me into a newt. ... But I got better.

First you must find... another shrubbery! Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here, beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get a two layer effect with a little path running down the middle. ("A path! A path!") Then, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forrest... with... a herring!

When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best... And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life.

Camelot is a silly place.

All ideas come about through some sort of observation. It sparks an attitude; some object or emotion causes a reaction in the other person.

When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

John Howard Davies was not a very human person ... if you made a mistake of any kind, any sort of pause in speech, he would treat you rather as if he was a schoolmaster.

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise, fear and surprise; two chief weapons, fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency! Er, among our chief weapons are: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and near fanatical devotion to the Pope! Um, I'll come in again.

There is no cannibalism in the British Navy, absolutely none. And when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount, more than I personally admit.

Bring out... The Comfy Chair!!!!

One, two, ... five!" "Three, my lord.

Sir Beldevere: What makes you think she's a witch? Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt! Sir Beldevere: A newt? Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better. Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!

Health care does not worry me a great deal. I've been impressed by some wonderful old people.

I hope I will have achieved something lasting.