Graham Norton Quotes

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

The higher your profile becomes, the more aware you are that people out there might hate you.

I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.

I am really bad at actually interviewing people.

The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show.

In my experience the difference between a straight and a bisexual is about four pints

Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship.

One of the great things about being gay and out is that the papers couldn't care less about your love life.

Do I have more depth than I'm given credit for? No!

I've so exceeded what I ever wanted to do.

All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I'm relatively available, but not to live with.

I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy.

Britain's such a twisted, weird little place.

I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive.

I've heard other gay people say when they were growing up they felt 'foreign.' Growing up, I was able to label these feelings as: 'I'm a Protestant.' It wasn't until I left, I thought: 'Oh, those weren't Protestant feelings.'

A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them.

I am very quick to judge.

I don't think you should have to try to be nice, I think most people are nice. I think being cheerful and nice is just a politeness.

I am camp. Lots of gay men can't cope with their campness. They are in denial about it.

Basically, I'm a really bad interviewer. I love meeting celebrities, but then I get a bit bored. Once you meet them you thing, 'really, what an ordinary person'.

My parents grew up working class, but in that way that working class families do, they spent a fortune on education to better me.

I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything.

I don't think anyone wants to be gay.

It sounds deeply shallow, but for brief spells every member of the public can be fascinating.