Joe Orton Quotes

The kind of people who always go on about whether a thing is in good taste invariably have very bad taste.

I'm too amused by the way people carry on to give in to despair.

With madness, as with vomit, it's the passerby who receives the inconvenience.

Cleanse my heart... Give me the ability to rage correctly

People think I write fantasy, but I don't; some things may be exaggerated or distorted in the same way that painters distort and alter things, but they're realistic figures. They're perfectly recognisable.

Policemen, like red squirrels, must be protected.

Civilizations have been founded and maintained on theories which refused to obey facts.

The Oscar Wilde of Welfare State gentility.

Every luxury was lavished on you - atheism, breastfeeding, circumcision.

I'd the upbringing a nun would envy. Until I was fifteen I was more familiar with Africa than my own body.

FAY: The British police force used to be run by men of integrity. TRUSCOTT: That is a mistake which has been rectified.

It's all any reasonable child can expect if the dad is present at the conception.

God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes

On our way home we were waiting for the bus when a very fat, pompous-looking woman reeled out of a pub shouting, "Melancholia? Ad nauseam."

You were born with your legs apart. They'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin.

The humble and meek are thirsting for lood

Reading isn't an occupation we encourage among police officers. We try to keep the paperwork down to a minimum.