Joseph Heller Quotes - Page 3

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.

But how can one be warm alone?

There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.

The frog is almost five hundred million years old. Could you really say with much certainty that America, with all its strength and prosperity, with its fighting man that is second to none, and with its standard of living that is highest in the world, will last as long as...the frog?

Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.

There was only one catch and that was catch 22

... there is wisdom in madness and strong probability of truth in all accusations, for people are complete, and everyone is capable of everything.

Everything passes. (That's what makes it endurable.)

Be glad you're even alive.' Be furious you're going to die.

I think that maybe in every company today there is always at least one person who is going crazy slowly.

Everybody is as unstable as water.

I’m cold,' Snowden said softly, 'I’m cold.' 'You’re going to be all right, kid,' Yossarian reassured him with a grin. 'You’re going to be all right.' 'I’m cold,' Snowden said again in a frail, childlike voice. 'I’m cold.' 'There, there,' Yossarian said, because he did not know what else to say. 'There, there.' 'I’m cold,' Snowden whimpered. 'I’m cold.' 'There, there. There, there.

Yossarian was cold, too, and shivering uncontrollably. He felt goose pimples clacking all over him as he gazed down despondently at the grim secret Snowden had spilled all over the messy floor. It was easy to read the message in his entrails. Man was matter, that was Snowden's secret. Drop him out a window and he'll fall. Set fire to him and he'll burn. Bury him and he'll rot, like other kinds of garbage. The spirit gone, man is garbage. That was Snowden's secret. Ripeness was all. I'm cold,' Snowden said. 'I'm cold.

Fortunately, just when things were blackest, the war broke out.

But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.

Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence?" "Yes, sir, it has." "Then why do you do it?" "To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.

I’m not running away from my responsibilities. I’m running to them. There’s nothing negative about running away to save my life.

I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.

Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.

They're trying to kill me," Yossarian told him calmly. No one's trying to kill you," Clevinger cried. Then why are they shooting at me?" Yossarian asked. They're shooting at everyone," Clevinger answered. "They're trying to kill everyone." And what difference does that make?

The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him.

I can't start writing until I have a closing line.

From now on I'm thinking only of me." Major Danby replied indulgently with a superior smile: "But, Yossarian, suppose everyone felt that way." "Then," said Yossarian, "I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?