Judith Martin Quotes

The whole country wants civility. Why don't we have it? It doesn't cost anything. No federal funding, no legislation is involved. One answer is the unwillingness to restrain oneself. Everybody wants other people to be polite to them, but they want the freedom of not having to be polite to others.

Adorable children are considered to be the general property of the human race. Rude children belong to their mothers.

If it's against state law, it's generally considered a breach of Etiquette.

It's far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

If you can't be kind, at least be vague.

Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without comment is a wonderful social grace.

Dishonesty is not the only alternative to honesty. There is also the highly underrated virtue of shutting up.

Perhaps the greatest rudenesses of our time come not from the callousness of strangers, but from the solicitousness of intimates who believe that their frank criticisms are always welcome, and who feel free to "be themselves" with those they love, which turns out to mean being their worst selves, while saving their best behavior for strangers.

The pejorative term "political correctness" was adapted to express disapproval of the enlargement of etiquette to cover all people, in spite of this being a principle to which all Americans claim to subscribe.

Why bring children into a world where no one writes letters?

Generosity and gratitude are inseparably linked.

When a society abandons its ideals just because most people can't live up to them, behavior gets very ugly indeed.

There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.

Honesty has come to mean the privilege of insulting you to your face without expecting redress.

Do you have a kinder, more adaptable friend in the food world than soup? Who soothes you when you are ill? Who refuses to leave you when you are impoverished and stretches its resources to give a hearty sustenance and cheer? Who warms you in the winter and cools you in the summer? Yet who also is capable of doing honor to your richest table and impressing your most demanding guests? Soup does its loyal best, no matter what undignified conditions are imposed upon it. You don't catch steak hanging around when you're poor and sick, do you?