Karl Pilkington Quotes about Funny

We've had the Iron Age, the Stone Age, this is the pissin' about age.

I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.

I don't know why small chocolates are called fun-sized; I mean, if I called a midget fun-sized, they'd kick off.

Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good.

We're gonna get weaker. That's already happened. They used to say, you know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now they're saying eat five fruits. That's evidence. You can't argue with that.

[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.

Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine.

Cat food. It stinks a bit, but if you don't put up with the smell, the little kitten will die.

What happens if someone else has my eyes, and they start looking at stuff I don't like? I don't like the idea of that.

I came up with a good idea... see-through skin.

The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’

As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it December 25th.

With identical twins, you always get a little snidey one.

Avocados, it's a food that ain't worth injuring yourself for. If it's a hassle to get into, leave it to the experts.

Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it.

I know when I was a kid I ate a beetle. I ate a beetle because I thought it was licorice.

At some point, some insect has had sex with a leaf.

It's just hassle of having friends and family an' that.