With every choice you make, be conscious of what need it serves.
Use the words "I feel because I" to remind us that what we feel it isn't because of what the other person did, but because of a choice I've made.
If we become skilled in giving ourselves empathy, we often experience in just a few seconds a natural release of energy which then enables us to be present with the other person. If this fails to happen, however, we have a couple of other choices.
