When people hear needs, it provokes compassion. When people hear diagnoses, it provokes defensiveness and attack.
Power-Over leads to punishment and violence. Power-With leads to compassion and understanding, and to learning motivated by reverence for life rather than fear, guilt, shame, or anger.
When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion.
We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well.
What I want in my life is compassion a flow between myself and others based on mutual giving from the heart.
When people hear needs, it provokes compassion.
Fear of corporal punishment obscures children's awareness of the compassion underlying the parent's demands.
An important aspect of self-compassion is to be able to empathically hold both parts of ourselves-the self that regrets a past action and the self that took the action in the first place.
NVC helps us connect with each other and ourselves in a way that allows our natural compassion to flourish.
The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion.
