Marshall B. Rosenberg Quotes

Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.

Instead of playing the game "Making Life Wonderful", we often play the game called "Who's Right". Do you know that game? It's a game where everybody loses.

Your presence is the most precious gift you can give to another human being.

Empathy is a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing. Instead of offering empathy, we often have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling. Empathy, however, calls upon us to empty our mind and listen to others with our whole being.

The objective of Nonviolent Communication is not to change people and their behavior in order to get our way: it is to establish relationships based on honesty and empathy, which will eventually fulfill everyone's needs.

Empathy lies in our ability to be present without opinion.

If I'm using Nonviolent Communication I never, never, never hear what somebody thinks about me. Never hear what somebody thinks about you, you'll live longer. You'll enjoy life more. Hear the truth. The truth is that when somebody's telling you what's wrong with you, the truth is they have a need that isn't getting met. Hear that they're in pain. Don't hear the analysis.

Most of us grew up speaking a language that encourages us to label, compare, demand, and pronounce judgments rather than to be aware of what we are feeling and needing.

When we understand the needs that motivate our own and others behavior, we have no enemies.

We are never angry because of what others say or do. It is our thinking that makes us angry.

Our survival as a species depends on our ability to recognize that our well-being and the well-being of others are in fact one and the same.

You don't have to be brilliant. It's enough to become progressively less stupid.

Please do as I requested, only if you can do so with the joy of a little child feeding a hungry duck. Please do not do as I request if there is any taint of fear of punishment if you don't. Please do not do as I request to buy my love, that, is hoping that I will love you more if you do. Please do not do as I request if you will feel guilty if you don't. Please do not do as I request if you will feel shameful. And certainly do not do as I request out of any sense of duty or obligation.

People heal from their pain when they have an authentic connection with another human being.

NO is always a YES to something else.

Judgments of others contribute to self-fulfilling prophecies.

Nonviolent Communication is a way of keeping our consciousness tuned in moment by moment to that beauty within ourselves and others, and not saying anything that we think might in any way tarnish people's consciousness of their own beauty.

What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but never the cause.

All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.

When you need empathy, you cannot give empathy.

Criticism, analysis, and insults are tragic expressions of unmet needs.

Everything we do is in service of our needs. When this one concept is applied to our view of others, we'll see that we have no real enemies, that what others do to us is the best possible thing they know to do to get their needs met.

Regardless of our many differences, we all have the same needs. What differs is the strategy for fulfilling these needs.

Interpretations, criticisms, diagnoses, and judgments of others are actually alienated expressions of our unmet needs.

People have been trained to criticize, insult, and otherwise communicate in ways that create distance among people.