Mel Brooks Quotes - Page 2

I knew it... I'm surrounded by assholes!

When we got to our hotel rooms, mosquitoes as big as George Foreman were waiting for us. They were sitting in armchairs with their legs crossed.

Usually when a lot of men get together, it's called a war.

He who hesitates is poor.

You got to be brave. If you feel something, you've really got to risk it.

I've been taught ever since I was a kid that sex is filthy and forbidden, and that's the way I think it should be. The filthier and more forbidden it is, the more exciting it is.

I love spaghetti and sex, sometimes together. My dream of heaven is walking naked through fields of pasta fazool.

There's not enough bad taste! I LOVE bad taste! I live for bad taste! I am the spokesman for bad taste!

In real life people fart, in the movies, people don't. Why not? Farts are a repressed minority. The mouth gets to say all kinds of things, but the other place is supposed to keep quiet. But maybe our lower colons have something interesting to say. Maybe we should listen to them. Farts are human, more human than a lot of people I know. I think we should bring them out of the water closet and into the parlor.

Let's have a merry journey, and shout about how light is good and dark is not. What we should do is not future ourselves so much. We should now ourselves. "Now thyself" is more important than "know thyself." Reason is what tells us to ignore the present and live in the future. So all we do is make plans. We think that somewhere there are going to be green pastures. It's crazy. Heaven is nothing but a grand, monumental instance of future. Listen, now is good. Now is wonderful.

Everything starts with writing. And then to support your vision, your ideas, your philosophy, your jokes, whatever, you've gotta perform them and/or direct them, or sometimes just produce them.

Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love.

My favorite expression is: When you go up to the bell, ring it ? or don't go up to the bell.

You cannot have fun with anything that you don't love or admire or respect.

If Shaw and Einstein couldn't beat death, what chance have I got? Practically none.

My mother is very short - four-eleven. She could walk under tables and never hit her head.

I don't think in terms of results at all. I think: what next insanity can I shock the world with?

Well, just being stupid and politically incorrect doesn't work. You can be politically incorrect if you're smart.

One day, God said 'Let there be prey.' And he created pigeons, rabbits, lambs and Gene Wilder.

Critics can't even make music by rubbing their back legs together.

I was born on the kitchen table. We were so poor my mother couldn't afford to have me; the lady next door gave birth to me.

Everything starts with writing.

An egg cream can do anything. An egg cream to a Brooklyn Jew is like water to an Arab. A Jew will kill for an egg cream. It's the Jewish malmsey.

Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.

My God, I'd love to smash into the casket of Dostoyevsky, grab that bony hand and scream at the remains, 'Well done, you god-damn genius.'