Mignon McLaughlin Quotes - Page 13

Most of us can easily do two things at once; what's all but impossible is to do one thing at once.

The neurotic usually obeys his own Golden Rule: Hate thy neighbor as thyself.

Women go to beauty parlors for the unmussed look men hate.

The poor have the same basic pleasures as the rich, and the rich will always resent it.

Spring, summer, and fall fill us with hope; winter alone reminds us of the human condition.

As we are human, we can't do what we can't do; as we're neurotic, we can't do what we can.

The neurotic circles ceaselessly above a fogged-in airport.

A woman telling her true age is like a buyer confiding his final price to an Armenian rug dealer.

All women are basically in competition with each other for a handful of eligible men.

Men enjoy being thought of as hunters, but are generally too lazy to hunt. Women, on the other hand, love to hunt, but would rather nobody knew it.

No matter how many Christmas presents you give your child, there's always that terrible moment when he's opened the very last one. That's when he expects you to say, 'Oh yes, I almost forgot,' and take him out and show him the pony.

Goods are displayed by thousands of shopkeepers with a sense of beauty that finds no other outlet.

Healthy parakeets have the nervous energy of tennis players.

Being neurotic is like shooting fish in a barrel, and missing them.

The neurotic listens to weather reports about Small Craft Warnings, and he thinks: They're talking about me.

The young are generally full of revolt, and are often pretty revolting about it.

Of all second-class citizens, neurotics are the only ones who are so by choice.

It's easy enough to get along with a loved and loving child - at least till you try to get him to do something.

It's terrifying to see someone inside of whom a vital spring seems to have been broken. It's particularly terrifying to see him in your mirror.

We wake in the night, to stereophonic silence.

Neurotics are sure that no one understands them, and they wouldn't have it any other way.

We can never at any time absorb more love than we're ready for.

There's an awful lot of blood around that water is thicker than.

Neurosis is no worse than a bad cold; you ache all over, and it's made you a mess, but you won't die from it.

I often pray, though I'm not really sure Anyone's listening; and I phrase it carefully, just in case He's literary.