Mignon McLaughlin Quotes - Page 12

If your husband expects you to laugh, do so; if he expects you to cry, don't; if you don't know what he expects, what are you doing married?

Humiliation is a vast country of imprecise boundaries. If you think you're there, you are. The neurotic rule: when in doubt, go ahead and feel humiliated.

It's impossible to be loyal to your family, your friends, your country, and your principles, all at the same time.

There's no way to repay a mother's love, or lack of it.

Self-confidence grows on trees, in other people's orchards.

Hot dogs always seem better out than at home; so do French-fried potatoes; so do your children.

A good executive is one who makes people contentedly settle for less than they meant to get, in return for more than they meant to give.

When their children fail to charm others, few parents can stay neutral.

Luck: when your burst of energy doesn't run afoul of someone else's.

They threaten me with lung cancer, and still I smoke and smoke. If they'd only threaten me with hard work, I might stop.

It's awesome to realize that if your greatest potential talent is for riding a bicycle upside down on a high wire, you will somehow discover it.

At the beginning of a love affair, not even the neurotic is neurotic.

Comfort, or revelation: God owes us one of these, but surely not both.

The first-rate mind is always curious, compassionate, original, and pessimistic.

If only we could be old and sick while we're still young and healthy enough to put up with it!

People are like birds: on the wing, all beautiful; up close, all beady little eyes.

A productive marriage requires falling in enjoy numerous occasions, usually with the identical man or woman.

Neurotics have plenty of non-neurotic friends, but not for long.

God is less careful than General Motors, for He floods the world with factory rejects.

In youth we are plagued by desire; in later years, by the desire to feel desire.

At night, neurotics may toil not, but oh how they spin!

The first two days of a vacation are endless; then it flies.

We work for praise, and dawdle once we have it.

An artist usually has no friends except other artists, and usually they do not like his work.

It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.