Mignon McLaughlin Quotes - Page 11

A car is useless in New York, essential everywhere else. The same with good manners.

I wish I'd said it first, and I don't even know who did: The only problems that money can solve are money problems.

Nobody ever loved anybody like everybody wants to be loved.

A husband only worries about a particular Other Man; a wife distrusts her whole species.

Albert Einstein when asked what he considered to be the most powerful force in the universe answered: Compound interest!

How tired God must be of guilt and loneliness, for that is all we ever bring to Him.

Don't look for God where He is needed most; if you didn't bring Him there, He isn't there.

In any family, measles are less contagious than bad habits.

Anywhere you go liking everyone, everyone will be likeable.

Only where children gather is there any real chance of fun.

After he has had his tantrum, the neurotic expects those around him to feel friendly and relaxed; after all, he does.

Revenge leads to an empty fullness, like eating dirt.

What a shame that allowances have to stop with the teens: both those that are paid to us and those that are made for us.

Few women care what a man looks like, and a good thing too.

A woman ought to look up to her husband, if only a half-inch.

Philosophy teaches a man that he can't take it with him; taxes teach him he can't leave it behind either.

You can't truthfully explain your smallest action without fully revealing your character.

We are like people with short-term leases on summer cottages; we can never seem to make our provisions come out even with our stay.

A woman will do anything to keep a pretty figure, but hardly anything to get one.

In the theater, as in life, we prefer a villain with a sense of humor to a hero without one.

Even in the same family, one child will always instinctively know when to ask for things, and another won't.

When the pressures really mount, the neurotic must choose: Shall he have a good cry, or set fire to his neighbor's house?

Spiritual sloth, or acedia, was known as The Sin of the Middle Ages. It's the sin of my middle age, too.

Neurotics always feel as though they were going way up or way down, which is odd in people going sideways.

There are whole years for which I hope I'll never be cross-examined, for I could not give an alibi.