Ampoules containing cortisone, testosterone gel residues, syringes and needles, a centrifuge for measuring my blood values.But, contrary to the erroneous reports in the press, they didn't find any EPO or growth hormone.
I made a big mistake. There's no doubt about it. But there have been positive testing cases in the past where the offender wasn't attacked to quite the same extent, especially not by other riders.
The message I understood was this: Just don't get caught!
The patient in the bed next to me told me that the newspapers were reporting on the test, and it was on television all day long.
It's possible that the name Bettini came up at some point during a conversation with the German Cycling Federation's anti-doping commission, but I certainly didn't claim that he gave me any drugs. They made that up. Bettini warned me: If you said that, then things could get dangerous for you.
My mother had to justify the fact that she had heart pills.
The truth is that things were already going so poorly for me that nothing surprised me anymore. But then the BKA sent 20 agents to search my house.
I wasn't in a position to defend myself. Sometimes it's a brutal profession. The first thing I thought of at the time was revenge. I have a more levelheaded take on the issue today.
Riders called me up afterwards to say that they had had no other choice. I couldn't understand the way they changed their tune.
I wouldn't call it an addiction. But the truth is, when you join a team as a new professional you encounter a system. As a young rider, older riders let you know how the business works.
Of course they were saying: No doping! But as a rider, it's difficult to believe that things can really change from one day to the next.
I can count off on one hand the number of times I've used testosterone gel - because it doesn't really do much.
I assumed the amount wouldn't be detectable. I also didn't feel that I had done anything wrong.
The crazy thing is that I really wasn't under any pressure. My contract wasn't going to expire until the end of 2008, and everyone was satisfied with me. But I wasn't. I always wanted to improve.
I rubbed the contents of one bag onto my upper arm on the evening of June 7, just before I went to bed. I thought: Well, it can't hurt. I flushed the packaging down the toilet.
I stayed in Hamburg a few more days, and during that time I received a visit from Rolf Aldag, the sporting director at T-Mobile. He advised me to tell the truth.
I spent my first two years as a professional with Mapei in Italy, on their youth team. We rode in minor races. Doping wasn't an issue. S
