Tina Fey Quotes - Page 2

Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.

You must not look in that mirror at your doughy legs and flat feet, for today is about dreams and illusions, and unfiltered natural daylight is the enemy of dreams.

I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.

Don't be too precious or attached to anything you write. Let things be malleable.

This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over fourteen thousand dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.

In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say 'scientists'? I meant Irish people.

So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.

Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.

And I can see Russia from my house.

Sometimes if you have a difficult decisin to make, just stall until the answer presents itself.

When humor works, it works because it's clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.

Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.

To me YES, AND means don't be afraid to contribute. Always make sure you're adding something to the discussion. Your initiations are worthwhile.

I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.

My work is my work. I take my work seriously but I don't take myself too seriously.

Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.

(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)

George Clooney married Amal Alamuddin this year. Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case, was an advisor to Kofi Annan regarding Syria, and was selected for a three-person commission investigating rules of war violation in the Gaza Strip. So tonight, her husband is getting a lifetime achievement award.

Thomas Jefferson—another gorgeous white boy who would not have been interested in me. This was my problem in a nutshell. To get some play in Charlottesville, you had to be either a Martha Jefferson or a Sally Hemings.

Everybody kind of gets to be the person they didn't get to be.

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math.

You're not in competition with other women. You're in competition with everyone.

In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.

I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society…unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool.

Seriously, I've just realized that almost everyone is a fraud, so I try not to feel too bad about it.